Strong Men Aren’t Afraid to Be Vulnerable

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You have to just be real with yourself.

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Be real with where you are with yourself.

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Do an inventory.

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Check in on how you're doing.

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And I don't mean how you're doing, are you doing all the things?

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Are you checking all the boxes?

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What I mean is how you're how are you doing?

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How are you feeling about your life, your energy, your passion?

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Is it going up or down?

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And if your passion is decreasing, your energy for life is decreasing, your negative thoughts are increasing, we have to be real with ourselves.

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We can't pretend every single day that life is perfect.

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And when people ask us, saying, oh, everything's perfect, right?

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We can't lie to ourselves and feel like that's just going to fix things, you know?

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So that's number one is we have to identify there, we have to identify and be real with ourselves as men.

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It's okay, right?

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It's okay.

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I'm a very emotional person.

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Like I've been blessed, I think, with that, like emotional intelligence and empathy and all that.

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So it's it's easier for me, I think, too.

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Is that what something taught at home when you were young?

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No, I think I think just something that I was gifted with potentially, maybe a bit of a gift, but I do think it can be taught.

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You know, I do, and I think that there were my parents did a good job of allowing me to be emotional, you know.

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Um, I think number one is just identifying that there may be an issue, right?

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And it it doesn't have to be that you're depressed and can't get out of bed.

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It could be that like you're feeling somewhat empty, right?

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You're feeling like your relationships aren't as good.

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Something you can feel that's off and not just trying to push it aside, um, not trying to lie to yourself about it or to other people about it, but identifying we all have things to work on and it's okay, right?

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Um, so that's number one.

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The second is after you've identified there's an issue, finding somebody that you can talk to about it, you know, um, to get ideas, someone that that really cares for you.

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I mean, whether that be therapy or whether it be a relationship, um, finding a way for sure to express really what you're feeling will help you, at least for me, and I think it will help everybody identify the areas that they're struggling, right?

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Um, especially from an emotional perspective and the imposter syndromes or trying to do the best in all the areas.

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We, there's so much pressure of that.

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Um, and then the third thing I would say is then yeah, you have to do something about it, right?

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We have to do something about it.

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And it's that's the hard part, I feel like, in some ways, because when we're feeling that exhaustion or that emptiness, the motivation is not there, right?

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And that's the hardest part is okay, what can I do to start something to pick myself up?

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And that's where I think we have to spend time alone a little bit.

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Once we've identified those issues, it's forgiving ourselves for those problems.

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It's um working through them in our own way, but spending time on them and letting you feel the feels, right?

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Like for me, it's like, okay, I've identified there's an emptiness in an area.

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I've spoken with my wife about it, and she's she understands, so I can help express that and help me understand what it is, and then it's spending time to forgive myself for it and to just be real with myself.

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And then I think the final step from that is when you find a way to take action, it's being consistent with it.

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Whether that's finding a morning routine and it's experimenting with things, just because it works for us doesn't mean it's gonna work for other people.

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I mean, the working out thing works for me.

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I enjoy it.

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If it's something that's gonna add another thing to your plate and it's gonna make you feel more guilty, like find something different, find something fun, right?

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We need fun in our lives too.

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And I think that's part of what drags us down is like part of what I think can pick us up is allowing ourselves to like be creative and be kids again.

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Yeah you know, and like just have fun.

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Have it's okay to have fun.

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We don't have to be like the perfect serious people all the time.

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Like, go have fun.

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And I think for me, even in my job, that's been a big key where I'm like, okay, it's so stressful, but I'm gonna focus on just having fun today.

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And it makes my day so much better, you know.

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So those are the four things that I would say.

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Um, but it's a roller coaster, and I think that we have to just we have to be willing um to be open.

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And I just invite for for men, it's it's not a weakness, it's a strength, you know, being vulnerable.

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Um and really at the end of the day, it's what's best.

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It's what's best for us, it's what's best for our kids, it's what's best for our relationships, you know.

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We can't hide behind that curtain forever because at some point it's gonna break us.

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It's gonna break us.

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So we have to find ways to be open and vulnerable in our lives every day, every day with strangers, with people we know and love.

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And I think the more that we do that and we make it like a norm, I think the better off our kids will be because it will be something that's normal.

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Yeah, that's beautiful.

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That was powerful.

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Thank you.

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Yeah, that was powerful.

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I can feel that.

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And, you know, I feel I'm so excited for, you know, my my son to see more men doing this, you know.

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And I it's important for them to see healthy men and what they're doing.

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And so, and I know you're showing that to your two boys, and that's gonna be powerful and that ripple effect again.

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So I'm deeply honored.

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It was beautiful, everything that you shared, and um I absolutely loved it.