EP 68: SMALL BUT MIGHTY: HOW 15 MINUTES A DAY CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE

Why Nervous System Skills Matter

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome back to Not Alone with Melissa Sue Methvin, where every story is to make sure that you're not alone. And I do have health experts bring awareness because I do feel knowledge is power. And today we're going to dive deep into the nervous system with Dr. Diane Liu, who is a dentist out of British Columbia. And how we got connected is because I also teach about the nervous system in the dental field. I started my new program called the Dental Chair System, which I pre-recorded breath work with meditation and frequency music for the provider to take care of the provider, the dentist, the dental team, and also for the patient, the patient in the waiting room, nervous to about to sit in that dental chair. Recordings for the patient in the dental chair while they're getting procedures down. So they're pre-recorded two to three minutes meditations and breathwork techniques because it is important for the nervous system to come back into regulation, to come back in the rest and repair. And just these simple tools to be incorporated for the dentists on a day-to-day basis will give them the sustainability, will give them that vitality. Because today you're going to learn what happens if a nervous system stays in that fight and flight. The sympathetic. Dr. Liu is a practicing holistic dentist, certified yoga and meditation teacher, sound healer, health coach, speaker, and founder of The Rest to Thrive, a wellness education company dedicated to helping high-performing professionals create success without sacrificing their health, energy, and nervous system. After personally experiencing her burnout, chronic pain, and insomnia, Dr. Liu discovered something many professionals never learn that achievement and sustainability are not the same thing. Her journey led her to explore the powerful connection between mindfulness, nervous system regulation, and true well-being. Today she combines her experience in dentistry, meditation, yoga, and wellness education to help individuals and teams move from burnout and survivor mode into a life of resilience, presence, and authentic energy. What I love most about Dr. Liu's message is that she reminds us that success isn't just about what we accomplish, it's about how we feel in our bodies, our relationships, and our lives. So welcome today, Dr. Diana Liu, as we're going to dive into the nervous system and a dental practice for the provider and what resources are out there for them so that we can make this profession uh lasting as sustainability for them and decreasing burnout. It all starts with awareness and education. So before I get started though, I always love to start with a couple breaths, which I know you're gonna love that. And so I put one hand on my heart, one hand on my belly, and we're gonna take a few deep breaths.

SPEAKER_02 3:49

So inhale and a long exhale. One more like this.

SPEAKER_01 4:05

Inhale and an exhale, inhale, fully through the nose. So inhale through the nose for four.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

And a long exhale through the nose.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

I always love starting with a few breaths so that we can connect in heart coherence. And today is so fitting with you, Dr. Lu. Am I saying it correctly?

SPEAKER_00 4:40

Yeah, yeah. Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 4:41

Because we're gonna deep dive into the nervous system for the provider in the dental practice and how that impacts us over time. Because I know just through your own story of burnout, you've lived it. And I really do feel until a provider and dentist professional lives it, lives through a burnout, mercury poisoning, they can't unsee the truth of the dental profession. And I love that you're speaking up and sharing your story because that's gonna save another provider, which I truly feel the mouth is the mirror to the entire body system and should be almost like the number one place people look once they start having these little whispers in their body that something is going on, more inflammation, autoimmune disease, car, you know, cardiac disease. Let's look in the mouth. So I've got to make sure that we keep the providers to be, I have human sustainability, and I truly feel it starts with the nervous system. So welcome today. I'm honored that we got connected.

SPEAKER_00 5:49

Yes, thank you so much. And I couldn't agree more that it's, you know, our own when we hit our own low points and have these personal experiences of disease, of burnout, of um different symptoms in our body that we can learn from that. So yeah, thank you so much for having me on your incredible podcast. And I hope the things that we talk about, someone could truly, truly benefit from. And I love how it's called um feeling less alone.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

Yes, not alone. Yeah. I just I think it fits for so many different kinds of subjects. And because it can be so confusing on and you've lonely when you start having these dark times in your life and resources are confusing that what you hear on social media or in, you know, from even just

The Hidden Stress Load In Dentistry

SPEAKER_01 6:42

providers. So I would love for you to shine a light a bit where you were at in your profession at a time where burnout, like what are some of this the whispers you were getting until it got really loud?

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Yeah, thank you. Um well, you know, I feel like when I signed up for dentistry, I was sold that it was going to be, you know, good work-life balance, well-paying, this ideal career where we're gonna have a lot of time to ourselves and the environment is gonna be great. And little did I know that this profession is one of the most stressful professions. I had no idea what I signed up for. And so early in my career, I um, you know, was a dental student at the time, and I was completely just shocked with the amount of workload. And, you know, there was so much that, you know, that inner bully, the itty bitty shitty committee that we often know about personally, you know, the the voice that tells us we're not good enough, the voice that is beating ourselves up for our mistakes, fear of failure, that was a huge one for me. And then this like perfectionism, I feel like most of dental professionals struggle with, which is huge. Um, that was really eating away at um my mental health. And at that time, you know, I didn't have any of the tools that I have now to be able to witness that itty bitty shitty committee and know how to work with that counsel in our heads through mindfulness, but also the tools to care for our nervous system, to be able to metabolize stress. And another thing about dentistry is that, you know, I think that we often don't um acknowledge the nervous system load on ourselves, and even though we might feel it, right? So um this physical load, the awkward contorted postures where we're having to sit like a croissant and having to do these twists and bending upside down sometimes to see because oh yeah, it's like it's like oh like just the lingual of that back molar, right? And and a lot of times there's like blood and lots of saliva, and it's hard to even see what we're doing, and we're doing micromillimeter surgery, like really precision work that require a super dry environment for the products to be successful. On top of that, on a patient that might feel anxious, that has had dental trauma in the past, and they're very nervous, or maybe it's a patient that has really high expectations and they're moving around and there's a big tongue and all different anatomy, everyone's so unique. And so the the stakes are high, and on top of that, you have you know, staff personalities, some are um really don't vibe well with each other, right? And so there can be staff conflicts happening or drama. Oh, yeah. Yeah, exactly. And then there's like all of a sudden the equipment decides to not work, and we have to shift gears, and then there's you know, unexpected things that happen in the treatment. Not most treatments, well, a lot of them sometimes they don't go as planned. And you know, and this is not um, and if you're a practice owner, I mean there's a whole slew of you know having to deal with insurance and um uh like equipment breakdowns and all the also the huge cost of owning a practice, and this is not even including all the stuff that we are um holding in our nervous system at home. The, you know, if our if we have families and our kids are struggling at school or they're feeling really anxious, or we have an argument with our partner, I mean, there's so much in our life where we get hit after hit after hit of stress, and we probably haven't even recovered the bait the day before. And in fact, many of us don't actually know how to recover, which I do want to talk a little bit more about

Insomnia, Numb Hands, And Warning Signs

SPEAKER_00 11:20

that. So, you know, to get back to your question of like, what are some of the symptoms in our body for me at that time? I was feeling a lot of like gut issues at the time. And you know, my digestive, my digestion didn't feel off. I was feeling very bloated. I was also getting these like weird skin reactions that were happening. Um, but the biggest piece that was really dehabilitating was where I mentioned that itty bitty shitty committee, that inner critic that was in my head was very, very loud and it would follow me to sleep, it would follow me to bed, and I would sit there ruminating about my day, you know, and replaying situations in my head, which is obviously not conducive to sleep. And this led to six months of insomnia. And so for any of you that are familiar with insomnia, it's very dehabilitating. It's almost like you're on this. Have you? I don't know if you've ever experienced insomnia.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

I experienced insomnia, yeah, absolutely. Once my husband passed, but they also I know so many friends that have as well, and I recognize it's a nervous system uh dysregulation and and it spirals. If we can't fix the they can't rest and repair, I know how damaging that can be. So what do we do, right?

SPEAKER_00 12:46

Yeah, yeah. And it's hard because you're like anxious that you know, questioning will you actually sleep tonight? Like there's um a fear that, you know, will sleep happen? And then there's a worry spiral, then you just can't get out of your head. And so, and then on the next, you know, and then you feel exhausted and and horrible the next day.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

And then you get desperate, right? People get desperate because they're like, I need to sleep. So they go to, you know, oftentimes the providers, and I'm never a black and white when it comes to uh modern medicine, but they'll reach for at the point, you know, a sleeping aid, uh, and because they just need that relief, right? Because they're kind of desperate. And I get it, you need sleep.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

Yeah, absolutely, exactly. Like, yeah, I mean, and and not a lot of us have the tools, especially, you know, you and I love that. We've both discovered the foundations, which is the nervous system and and caring for the nervous system, and to really get us out of that cycle, which is another alternative, I feel like that people don't really know about. I also got certified in cognitive behavioral therapy, which is also an amazing modality. Um, 80% effective, um, more effective than sleeping pills.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

I mean, more root cause is what I say. Yeah, sleeping pill might help for now, but it's not getting to your root cause. So that's where I'm like, I'm more on the root cause. Let's ask why you're not sleeping, why that was activated.

SPEAKER_00 14:13

So yeah, totally. And exploring those deeper layers. And then the biggest health scare for me was um one day I woke up and I it was very, very frightening because I had lost feeling in my hands. Oh wow, like my hands turned numb and weak, and I couldn't even open a door, and that freaked me out as a dentist. This is our like, you know, and I'm I'm just like, you know, the first thought I thought was that I I have rheumatoid arthritis, or I knew it was inflammatory in nature, obviously. And so I went to go see a specialist, and she ran a bunch of tests, and she couldn't find anything. But she started to ask me really good questions. She started to ask me about my sleep and my stress levels, both of which were really high. My stress levels and my sleep was obviously not good. And she said, um, and this really changed my life. What she shared with me is that, you know, it's very common in her practice to see um people that have weird symptoms, like myself, um, different flare-ups from stress, from poor sleep. And that was the moment that I started to link chronic stress with chronic inflammation, with you know, all these other symptoms of inflammation in our body, right?

SPEAKER_01 15:47

Like the And how important for providers to know that, right? That that chronic stress is causing that inflammation because as we know, it's like 80% of dentists have uh back issues, right? I know so many have had um neck fuse, back surgeries, but the root cause that's that load, that stress load over time, which is important for information to circle back and pausing, it causes inflammation. Inflammation is such a root cause for disease, right? We want inflammation down.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I mean, we know about it in dentistry through inflammation in our gums, right? But um, it also can lead to like the skin breakouts, the hives I was feeling. And um a lot of times, like you mentioned already, like autoimmune disease is inflammatory-based. And so they're all connected, they're all related. And that was the first time I really bridged that connection and started to explore um more deeply into the science of that.

Yoga As A Turning Point

SPEAKER_00 16:48

But um, you know, I was very lucky at that time when I um was going through like one of the worst times in my life, in the sense that my mom was like the light in my life that that that was begging me. She saw my health starting to deteriorate. And she at that time, at the age of 45, so you're never too young to start, is um, she decided to get her yoga teacher's training. And she wasn't a yogi, she didn't do a lot of yoga, you know, in in our upbringing, but there was something that drew her to the modality of yoga. And, you know, in her her training, I watched my mom get younger, I watched her get healthier, I watched her get more strong and flexible, and her personality started to change in the sense that she was just less reactive. And I was like, who is she becoming right now? You know, it's really it's it and it really like I I wasn't interested at yoga at the time. I actually thought it was for you know fit, flexible people um or acrobatic people, but um, but she, you know, watched me struggle so much and was begging me to try yoga, and she thought that it could really help me. And at that time I had no tools, so I was like, okay, like I'm willing to try anything. And um, so I went to um uh I joined a yoga studio and they had a $30 for 30-day challenge, and I um signed up for that, and you know, the first time I experienced yoga was very awkward. They were talking in Sanskrit, I was going in upside down, all these funny postures, and it felt really uncomfortable, but you know, it was like anything new that you try feels uncomfortable at first, right? Like, yeah, and and I decided I wanted to commit. I decided I wanted to commit to the 30 days and see, I was curious what would happen. And, you know, as I kept going, as I kept showing up, I started to feel less anxious. I started to feel like I had more energy. I started to feel more healthy, you know. I'm I'm doing these postures. And at that time I signed up for um like a it was a ashtanga yoga, right? So I feel like I really needed that because it was a lot of like physical movement and strength. So it felt like a good workout, but also I started to notice that um my sleep was improving and the the flare-up and the numbness in my hands started to um dissipate. My, you know, I started to get feeling back in my hands, and I was just like blown away with what was happening in my body. And um, you know, I just remember one of the the most life-changing moments during that time was about 15 days into yoga, where I was lying down in Shivasana, and for about 30 seconds, I felt peace.

SPEAKER_01 20:08

And if we explain Shivasana, people have never done it, it's really you're laying on the mat flat and you're just breathing, right? You're just kind of breathing, you're laying there in silence.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

Yeah. And you know, normally if I laid in silence, my mind would be like, right? But that moment I think was because, and um, I want to get into this more, but metabolizing like all that stress from the movement, from the intentional mindful breathing. And then my body was finally able to let go and my the thoughts started to quiet. And that moment of pure peace, that that ability to just be changed the trajectory of our my life. And so when I started to dig into the science of what was happening in my body and started to explore different modalities, and I know one of your favorite ones is breathbirth. Um yeah, which is so profound, and then sound healing is another one, yoga nidra, um, all sorts of styles of yoga, so many different modalities. I started studying the nervous system, and one of the things I found that every single modality had in common was they all elicit the relaxation response. They all take that nervous system back in coherence, right? Yeah, back in coherence, back into homeostasis, back into that parasympathetic part of our nervous system gets activated. And that is the opening, the access to our body's innate healer. And so if we were to take one pill that could do everything for our bodies, you know, like I find I. I call it our body's innate pharmacy, where we can decrease inflammation, we can rebalance our hormones and decrease our stress hormones, that cortisol, that adrenaline, where we can heal our gut, we can improve our immune system, we can repair, regenerate all of that stems from taking our body into that deep rest state, that deep relaxation, which is why I then founded rest to thrive, which is I love the name.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

I love the name because we all want to thrive. And I'm all about that vitality. What do you want? We don't want just live, we want to thrive optimally in vitality. And and I love how you mention all these modalities. Yeah, it can make it even younger. You start incorporating that. You saw that with your mom, right? That vitality, that movement. And until we get you back in that parasympathetic, that is rest and repair. And people need to understand that. You can't rest and repair until you get your body back in that state. And I love how you're blending science because a lot of us need to understand the science behind it, right? Because for yourself, even before you thought, well, you didn't think anything of science related when it came down to doing yoga or doing breath work. You didn't think, well, that's science. But there is.

SPEAKER_00 23:25

Yeah. I mean, it's just physiology, it's but it's biology, right? And um, you know, as most of us, we are really good at working hard, um, you know, being ambitious, pushing through, actually, just like overriding our body's cues um of exhaustion, right? And so so many of us, we we're really good at achieving, but the the rest piece, um, the rest, which is our body's innate healing system, which allows us to thrive, that is something that a lot of us, you know, especially me in the past, really struggle with.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

So most people do. I uh most people around me, it's very hard, very hard to slow down.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And so, um, yeah, and so that's like a little bit about my story. And, you know, I really um focus on supporting those types of people like myself that um have a hard time slowing down, that have a hard time pausing and resting and allowing our bodies to go um into that parasympathetic.

SPEAKER_01 24:34

Yeah, so you're taking care, same as me, is like through stories, taking care of the provider. Because the provider now, we need to have them human sustainability to heal others, right? The mouth is so important. But if we don't take care of the healer and make them recognize what's affecting it on a daily basis, for example, taking on other people's energy on a daily basis, affecting the nervous system, the sonic sounds, the the environmental toxins. Uh, and uh so I love that you are so passionate to bring that to light for professionals

Tools For Providers And Aches To Ease

SPEAKER_01 25:09

as well. And explain your program that you're launching actually in July. Explain to us what what it incorporates and and who is it for.

SPEAKER_00 25:19

Yeah, so um I'm running a group program for dental professionals that's starting um in about a month. And the reason why I I created this was that, you know, I like like myself in the past, I just never had the tools to learn how to metabolize my stress in a healthy way because truly we can't eliminate stress. Life will always keep lifing, you know, that um argument with your spouse, that disappointed patient, the staff member that just quits, right? Like there's so many things that that are unexpected and unpredictable. And so I realized that, you know, instead of trying to eliminate our stress, which is like impossible, yeah, it's about building a different relationship with stress and having tools to be able to digest our stress, to metabolize our stress. That's the way I like to think about it. And um, and and then having the tools to also, you know, um work be first be aware of that itty bitty shitty committee that's inside our head. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 26:36

Yeah, I love that. I always call it the little, you had mentioned the little bully. That's why I tell my kids, what's that little bully inside telling you, you know? And I love the way you say that. Yeah, exactly. Like we all have it, right? We all do. I still do. And I have to be aware that awareness, like, okay, where is it coming from? And how I can pivot and shift those mindsets. It's huge. And you mentioned actually, just to circle back to your symptoms of the gut, that is the mind-gut connection. I I talk about, and that's where it hit me first. And those are your signals. Okay, your mind is speaking to each cell, your body, and it's it's it's telling you, okay, we need to pivot these mindset shifts and how important it is to become aware of them.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Exactly. And I mean, yeah, awareness is key, right? And there's tools um like meditation, like um, you know, focusing on conscious breathing that allows us to be aware of these thoughts, but not get attached to them, not identify with the stories in our heads. And um and then uh also in this course, we'll also be diving into mindful movement, different movement practices that we can help to realign our musculoskeletal system. Because I truly feel that yoga, a lot of people think you know, yoga is just for stretching or it's a workout, but it's so much more than that. I think it's this ancient practice that was gifted to us that is very sophisticated, that helps to actually realign our whole musculoskeletal system back into harmony and um allowing us to also be better aware of our posture, our body, the tension that we hold, just like, you know, um knowing where what our patterns are, whether that's like clenching our teeth or our shoulders are are really tense when we're working in the chair with our patients, you know, where our our body is in space. Um sometimes, yes, we have to bend over, but maybe you're activating muscles that you don't even need to, you know, you're you're tensing so much throughout the day that when you have that body awareness to soften while you're working on a patient, and then tools to reduce um like repetitive strain injury, like that leads to carpal tunnel or um tendonitis, and as well as tools to release um the the areas that are the most long held, you know, that we have the most tension in, such as the neck and shoulders, the hips, the back, the spine. So there's just different movement practices that I I share in the program that are like five to 15 minutes long. They don't take a long time, but um I like to think of that as like flossing and brushing for our bodies.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

I like that. We mean simple tools, right? Like just to hear that it's five minutes, you know. Then it's not so overwhelming. Like, oh, I need to find this much more time. No, work bringing it back and simplifying you, you know, and that's how quick you can change the physiology of your body.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

Yeah, exactly. And so um, a lot of these tools, they're meant to be integrated into a busy, busy lifestyle that we lead as you know, ambitious professionals. And then um, and then there's the piece around the nervous system, where I mean, there's so much I want to dive into in terms of the nervous system, but tools to support when we're in um survival states of the nervous system. So, for example, um, fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and shutdown. So there's actually five survival states of the nervous system. And most people um, you know, just hear about the fight and flight, but there's so much more within that, where when we see through the lens of the nervous system, we start to realize, wow, like all the things that I thought was my personality is actually just my nervous system going into a specific survival state, um, which is really profound. So for example, um, if you know for freeze, freeze is something that um that people don't realize is when you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, indecisive, and you might think, wow, I'm like just an indecisive person. It's hard for me to make decisions, but that is actually your nervous system going into freeze. And so this can look like in dentistry being indecisive about your treatment planning, um, during procedures, um, and also avoiding difficult conversations. So avoidance pattern and procrastination is another um response, which uh for the longest time I thought I was just like a procrastinator. You know, I know why do I keep leaving everything to the last minute? But that is actually your nervous system going into freeze, and it can also look like um, you know, when we feel overwhelmed and there's just so many things that we have to do so that our nervous system goes into overwhelm. And so instead to avoid what we have to do because we're stuck in freeze, we then go into doom scrolling, you know, reading our emails, watching Netflix, this avoidance pattern, avoiding the decisions and responsibilities, is our nervous system in freeze mode and has nothing to do with who you are as a person, your personality, that you're not good enough. You know, we tend to like blame it on ourselves that there's something wrong with us, but it's actually our nervous system.

SPEAKER_01 32:38

I love that you mentioned that and I'm nodding the whole way because I'm like, oh, I've been through that. I've been through that freeze where I'm so overwhelmed at making that next step. And how and and how the procrastination and or even what willingly seeing your truth, seeing, seeing if you want to have a mirror in front of you and your nervous system and overwhelm, you you won't be ready to make that next step. And I know that plays a big role in for the dentist trying to talk to patients into the next step treatment, they'll be better off for their health. But oftentimes patients are sitting in that chair and they are already in that free state. They're already in the, you know, just completely overwhelmed just for life. And now they're in a chair and they're like, great, what are they gonna tell me? I have all these things wrong. And it's really overwhelming. So if a dentist could recognize that about their patient, that it's their nervous system, and kind of peel it back is like, what can I do as a provider to help these patients in my chair? What's gonna be able to calm their nervous system when they're here? And so I think that's just such an important uh program that you're putting on right now for the dental provider because it's awareness, but also embodying these practices to be for them to become comfortable with them, you know, at first it might be uncomfortable, you know, like anything. Like I know uh, you know, I've given dove into many uh healing modalities and a lot of them are emotional release, more somatics uh from hypnosis to parts work, inner child work. And at first, when you do it, you're like, this is kind of silly. I don't know how this is working, and uh bringing in the science, and I think this is gonna be such an important program. And I encourage, you know, any uh dentists to really that are starting to maybe feel some signs that of that overwhelm. They're like, I'm stuck. I have a know a lot of dentists that I know are stuck, you know, financially, the financial pressures, and they were told the same thing going into the dental industry, but they truly feel stuck. But this provides for their family, right? And but they're they're struggling. And I think there's just not enough programs out there for for dental professionals. And so I honor you to, you know, share through your purpose, through your own story that you've created this um Rise to Thrive program and bring in a nervous system more awareness. I can't help but see the entire world, especially dental profession, what's affecting them on a daily? Do you find it's hard for some dentists you're talking to to bring in that science or for them to really want to see that this patient holding fear and anxiety in that dental chair, it is affecting you. Like, do you find that they're grasping that or are they thinking that's more woo-woo?

SPEAKER_00 35:32

Um, I feel like, yeah, like bridging the science, I feel like is just a key piece. Um, you know, as someone who is like a science nerd, I love to um bridge the science because a lot of, and and I'm always, you know, when things are happening in my body or I'm going through something, I'm always questioning like what is the physiology and the biology that's happening within me. And so I think a lot of these concepts that seem like woo, um, when we actually dig into it, there's a lot of um physiology and biology behind it. And this is something that I'm very passionate about explaining, and it's a big part of you know the program where a lot of the things that we might be going through or feeling, um, helping them see through that nervous system lens to understand rationally.

Co-Regulation And Creating Safety

SPEAKER_00 36:26

And so when we have more rational understanding of these pieces, it allows us to better explain to our patients, better support our patients, you know. And um, like you're saying, with patients that have a lot of, you know, dental anxiety and we're supporting these patients in the chair who have um trauma and have had a lot of fear around dentistry. I mean, our patients are in um another survival state, which is flight, right? And the flight response feels like um, you know, I just want to run away from the situation. A lot of our patients are like, I haven't been to a dentist in seven years, you know. Yeah. And I'm really embarrassed about it, but I'm freaking terrified.

SPEAKER_01 37:14

I oftentimes in my hygiene chair, it's like, I'm just coming here for the cleaning. Like, I don't want to hear anything else.

SPEAKER_00 37:19

You know, like wow. And we can if we can start to see through the lens of the nervous system, we can start to bring a lot more compassion to our patients and understanding about, I feel like there's actually no prop program out there for dentists that have um this awareness around trauma, which we talk in, uh we we discuss more in the the aches. So the program is called aches to ease, actually. So it's moving from aches to ease. Um and and you know, and so then we have more tools to support ourselves when we're in flight, but also support our patients who um don't feel safe in the chair and really helping them. I think one of the key pieces of the nervous system is safety, is so that patients feel like they can trust us, like we got them, like that it's safe to be here. And one of the things that I also talk about in the program is this concept of co-regulation, which is when we are grounded, present, relaxed in our body, connected to our body, our patients naturally feel more at ease, like they can relax, like they can feel safe. And that is like a superpower that I feel like a lot of people, um, especially in the dental world, don't know they have access to. And so, you know, uh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:51

How would you explain that to some like how what do you practice? So, do you practice yourself before you show up for that exam or with that patient, you could sense that they're in that flight. Do you just calm your breath? Like, what do you do? So then you show up because I know all about co-regulation. So kids co-co-regulate with their parents, right? Nervous system for a very long time. And so do the patients in close proximity. So you're saying if the provider shows up with a calm and presence, and then the patient will be able to come in coherence with the provider. And in turn, the provider is not going to be taking on any stressors or you know, that energy from them. So there's a win-win situation there too. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 39:43

Yeah. So when I um so when I am working with an anxious patient, the first thing I do is focus on myself first before I even enter into that room. If my, you know, um dental assistant says, hey, this patient is like really anxious

The Physiological Sigh Breath Practice

SPEAKER_00 40:00

and is crying in your chair right now, which can happen. And so the first thing I do is I um, so a breath practice that I'll share with um people listening, which I feel like is um can really feel supportive, is the physiological sigh breath. Um, it's also known as cyclic sighing. This breath is one of the most well-researched breaths. And how um, and I'm just gonna guide you for this breath so that um you can have this for yourself. So um, so basically, I always love to bring my left hand to my heart and right hand on my belly, and just taking a moment to notice what's here. So I always just check in with myself, like where am I at with my my nervous system right now, right? And and as you connect with that left hand to your heart, notice your heartbeat. Notice if it's moving fast or slow, notice the rhythm of your heart and any other communications in your body. Maybe you're feeling heaviness in your heart right now, maybe you're feeling lightness. So, whatever is here, just letting it be here without changing anything, just bringing compassion to what is here, and now noticing your breath, noticing the quality of your breath, the pace of your breath, is it short and shallow? Is it long and deep? So I think it's really important to always take a moment to just bring awareness to what's here without any judgment, with compassion, and this is a core concept of mindfulness. And as you notice that, so we're gonna start to take three physiological side breaths together. So we'll start with a deep breath in through the nose, breathing into your belly, and a second breath at the top into the chest, and exhale out the mouth for six counts, and again, deep breath into the belly, into the chest, and exhale out the mouth for six counts, and once more into the belly, into the chest, filling your whole body up, and sigh out the mouth for six counts, and just taking a moment to notice any shifts physiologically. Maybe you're starting to feel your breath slowing down naturally. Maybe you're starting to feel your breath deepen. And just taking a moment to notice if you're tensing anywhere else in your body. So paying attention to the your feet, feeling the contact of your feet touching the ground. So, this is another tool I love to bring awareness to my feet touching the ground, very grounding our bodies. And also notice if you're holding any tension in your body, so scanning your legs for any tension. If you're activating any muscles, just soften your muscles, soften your hips, soften your shoulders, maybe just gently rolling the shoulders down and down, and just softening your jaw, wiggling your jaw side to side. And then swallow, separate your teeth with a tongue. Feeling your jaw completely relaxed. And feeling your temples, your forehead softening. So that was beautiful. I love it. Yeah. You know, that took like five minutes. I mean, you don't have to go through this whole process, but this is something that you know I've done so many times naturally within myself that it just only takes a couple minutes to recenter to ground. And then I walk um into the room. And the key is I'm just present with the patient. I just take the time to hear their, hear why, you know, they're feeling anxious, get curious. That's another tenet of mindfulness is curiosity. Get curious about um their history, you know, their past trauma, um, giving them space to share whatever they want to share and what their main concerns are. And I just listen, I just take in what they're saying and just be present and listen. Because a lot of times we might interject a patient, we might, you know, think we know better or think we assume something about them. But when we actually are in that open, receptive, deep presence with our patients, they feel heard, they feel seen. When you feel heard and you feel seen and you feel listened to, you start feeling safe in your nervous system. And so that bridge with that patient is um can create a huge impact. And then um, and then I I, you know, give them information. I share knowledge um of different options. And then when they sit in the chair with me, when I'm also relaxed, they start to feel relaxed. And um, I get this a lot. I get a lot of patients saying, um, wow, this is the most relaxed dental experience I've ever had. I almost fell asleep, like this has never happened to me before. And I'm not special. I'm not special. Anyone can have access to these skills, but it takes time, it takes training. I mean, this was a decade for me of repetition, of learning how to read my nervous system, learning how to read other people's nervous system, and having the tools to be able to support patients in this way.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

So I feel like you're feeling the shift now. You're able to see how imperative that is so they can feel that safety and this helps them heal and and build that trust. And in turn, you're not taking on their nervous system on a daily basis. So building that trust. So that obviously, for many providers, that it's almost also shifting their schedule, allowing a bit more time to connect, right? Because uh oftentimes it's just a very quick, you know, but allowing more time. I know now when I work for biological dentists, there is more time, more time wanted for exams. Uh, because yeah, they want to listen. And it's important for the provider to know that because oftentimes patients they're they got to trust their intuition and you got to listen to them. Their body has been speaking, and there's some things that might not be shown yet, but they know something's wrong, maybe on this tooth on the right here, but nothing's showing up on the x-ray, but you're listening. Okay, why are they feeling that there? What's what's the deep root? So it's important that it work on on yourself first as a provider. I think that's an important um thing to say. Same thing that I was told as a mom, work on myself first so I can show up as a regulated parent. So my kids co-regulate with me. And it takes a lot of practice, right? A lot of practice. You're tested very often. And it's like, so now there's not feeling that shame and that guilt when you take more time now to instill these practices uh for yourself. And now I have some non-negotiables, right? And and um and I become so attuned to my nervous system and what's um affecting it. We don't live in a bubble, so there's a lot of environmental factors on a daily basis that will affect our nervous system and become aware of those things. So having these tools that you're gonna be teaching is is imperative. And I think as we grow now, as um, you know, we want things so faster, faster as a community, and that's affecting our nervous system from you know, the 5Gs, the 7Gs, and all of that, that also plays a big role. Uh, nutrition and having nervous system tools right now, I feel it was gonna be vital for human sustainability on a whole and and definitely in a profession. So if anyone now wanted to work with you, wanted to join along uh this program, what is your information that you can share? I know we'll have it in our show notes, but I always love for you to share it out loud as well.

SPEAKER_00 49:00

Yeah, yeah. Actually, is it okay I just add one more thing? Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 49:04

Oh, yeah, is that yeah, is anything, yeah, as many things as you like.

SPEAKER_00 49:09

I think that's an important topic.

Escaping Flight Mode And Slowing Down

SPEAKER_00 49:11

Yes. Yeah, now because now that you're saying about, you know, we live in this fast moving society and even in dentistry, right? It's such a fast pace. We try to, you know, overbook our schedules and not leave that spaciousness. And I just wanted to share that that's actually our nervous system in flight, right? And um, how I like to just and I wanted to create that awareness um of because for me to see that, wow, that is like a survival pattern in flight where um I have to keep going, I have to be productive, I have to move faster. And in dentistry, this can show up as having too full of a schedule or overworking or skipping out on our breaks, or um, even in our life, like booking too many things and juggling too many things.

SPEAKER_01 49:58

That's what your body is accustomed to, right? That's what it becomes normal. So you crave that normalcy even though it's not good for you, right?

SPEAKER_00 50:07

Yeah, so it's it's a pattern, like our nervous system can go into a pattern because we've the reason why we go into flight is this um worry that we're never gonna like that there's that if we don't keep moving, if you can't don't keep doing, we're gonna fall behind. That things on life are gonna fall down and crumble, right? It's it's um and and so it's this like what's next, what's the next goal? This and even at home, it can look like constantly being busy, cleaning our house, scrolling on the phone, always doing tasks, and and and then when we try to relax, it feels uncomfortable, it feels like boredom, it can feel like like uneasy, right? And um and so yeah, and I just wanted to share when we start to see that through the lens of the nervous system, then we can take a step back and be like, okay, I'm in flight right now. Like a tool that you can do if you're in flight, is let's say you have like a specific movement practice you do, whether that's yoga or working out, see if you can actually do the movements five times slower. Okay, I like that. So I for me, I my my thing is I always go to mindful movement, but I just move super slow, and this causes me to slow down my breath. And that alone, just taking pockets of your day to move slower to use the nervous system that slowing down is safe.

SPEAKER_01 51:46

Oh, I like that. I've actually practiced that just even shifting the way I train, right? Exercise. And I actually have like, oh, I need more of slower movements, long and not so much the fast pace, and depending, you know, I do it intuitively and being comfortable in the slowing down and or not the busy schedule. And I, you know, I love that you mentioned that. I think that's so important for so many of us to reprogram the way we've always been taught in achieving more. And even actually, I recorded just a solo episode last week about utilizing the summer, like for often, you know, when your kids are in school and sports, it's a lot of very much the busyness. And I notice it in my children's nervous system when they come home from school. They are so depleted and how that's affecting them. So I'm actually utilizing our summer uh for slowing down. And it's hard because I feel like, oh, I need to keep them busy. But bring normalcy in boredom and slowing down, and actually, what can we do to learn these extra tools for my kids right now to work on their nervous system when we're gonna start the school year? You know, I have not decided to to homeschool. I do different kinds of schooling modalities for them. So we're committed to the regular school system right now. So, how can I get provide them these tools going to school when their nervous system is exactly on that overdrive? So that's my goal this summer is actually work on more tools leading into that environment. And same for you, you're providing that for dentists. It's a busy sketch. My husband would have three columns of people, plus two, three hygienists. And it was just, yeah, you move through. And for me, yeah, same thing. I bring the kids, uh, you know, drive them to school, start work, work all the way through lunch, don't stop for lunch. And then, okay, now it's time to go get my kids, start dinner. And it was just, wow, I prided myself, like, whoa, I could do so much by realizing how that impacts you over time. And so uh, yeah, it is all about awareness and seeing and finding normalcy in the slowing down. I I'm gonna try that a bit more with my workouts. I love that with movement, the slowing down.

SPEAKER_00 53:59

Yeah, yeah. And I love that too, like passing that, those everything, all everything that you're learning to your kids, right? These skills, they're life skills. They're they ripple beyond just us and into our family systems. And, you know, like I feel like our kids have a head start. Like, I wish I was taught these tools way earlier, right? Yes, and multiple, I had to go through multiple burnouts. I know you've gone through, you have you've had your own health journey. Yes. That's happened with your husband too, and um, your story is so powerful. And so, you know, um giving these foundational tools to our kids. And I my vision really is one day, hopefully, getting um this program into the dental schools and having dental students have access to these.

SPEAKER_01 54:45

Oh, this is huge. I have a dental student, actually, a story later today. Uh, she's gonna share, yeah, in dental school. It's so stressful. I have a friend that's in dental school right now in Colorado, and she is overwhelmed. And I I know so many have struggled mentally in dental school. And so having this kind of program uh would be huge. Yeah, it would be huge. Or at least having an adjunction, you could start, you know, um contacting schools and seeing if you can incorporate it or at least come talk about it, you know. And luckily now, a lot of things could be virtual, you know, is virtual, so they can be anywhere globally.

SPEAKER_00 55:24

Yeah, totally. It's funny because I still to this day, this is, you know, I'm a decade out um as a clinician and I still have nightmares about dental school where I didn't study enough, like I like studied the raw material, I showed up to the exam at like a different environment.

SPEAKER_01 55:44

That's how I start my talk. That's how I started my talk at the TDA. Was I was bringing back to dentists to that first day of dental school and how they felt, and how after those four years of dental school, the grinding and all that, and how that impacted them. And then it was almost like a relief, yay, I graduated, but then you get into practice and you can't you're like realize it's a constant lifestyle in dentistry, that constant pressure. And so, yes, I think you know, bringing this as a whole for dental students and prepping them and giving them the tools. I I love what you're doing. I love, I know the passion is there, and and I'm glad we we got aligned, you know, and that we reached out. And I love that you are in uh you're actually in British Columbia in uh Sunshine Coast, and Sunshine Coast has such a big heart for me. We had a cabin there growing up in Sackinal Lake, and uh I love that you, you know, somebody kind of mentioned uh me and you you listened to the call, you know.

SPEAKER_00 56:47

Yeah, you kept coming up in conversations, and it's so funny that you have a tie to where I live, which is like such a you know niche place.

SPEAKER_01 56:56

Yeah, now I get to be able to recommend you to you know people I know live there. And uh so that's very exciting. And what's the name of the dental practice you're working at right now? It's called Gibson's Dental Center. Center, okay. It's a homeless stick. Because I have a lot of uh Canadian friends listening, so they know where where to find you. And uh I don't want to miss anything. So if there's anything else that's on your heart to share or show, you know, tell more people how you know just about yourself and how they can reach you, uh, please go ahead.

Resources, Calm Chair Systems, And Closing

SPEAKER_00 57:32

Yeah, well, I just wanted to say thank you everyone for listening. And I hope that like um you've gained some tools, some insights, some perspective shifts from our conversation together. And um, and if you'd love to learn more and you feel like this can truly change your life, um, support your body and nervous system so that you can retire from dentistry um thriving right in our health so that we can feel energized, we can um feel healthy, strong, um aligned in our body rather than our bodies breaking down way beyond our retirement years and slow down our aging process um and be able to pass these tools on to your kids, to your staff, to your patients. Like this ripple, like we said, is huge. So if you feel called to um find out more about the program, you can reach out to me. Uh, my website is www.rest to thrive.com. And um we can drop the there's a link to the program down below. And my Instagram is rest to thrive as well. Feel free to message me if you have any questions. Um we I would love to connect with you. And um yeah, and I also wanted to share that um um I have a free mindful movement practice. It's about 15 minutes long, it helps to realign our whole musculoskeletal system and target the most common aches and pains in our body. And it's completely free. And you can incorporate it even at the clinic too, um, chair side, not chair side, but like in chairs, um, and you know, use it even as part of your morning huddle, or it can be used, you know, before work, after work. It's like really easy to integrate. So I wanted to also share that with you love.

SPEAKER_01 59:23

Well, perfect. Yeah, I'll have that all in the show notes, and they can always contact you as well. And we definitely aligned as I just launched the Calm Chair Systems, which was meditations and breath work techniques that patients can do in the chair and uh in the waiting room and for the provider. Like you said, you mentioned as a team. I've done breath work sessions for entire dental team and how that shifts that energy. You like you said, you mentioned drama and all the things that people carry into the dental practice. But the dental fit, I always call them dental family. I'm still very much close friends with our dental family up in Alaska. But how we work on a nervous system together, how powerful that would be and become an awareness, these tools. So I honor you for doing uh similar work. And it's uh I think uh I think that's where dentistry needs to shift.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:17

Absolutely. And I just love that you've created this um calm app. I'm so excited to, you know, dive.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:23

I would love for you to pilot it and tell me your feedback and what patients are thinking and yourself as a provider, you know, uh how that's helpful to have those mindset. They're they're also only two to three minutes long. And so they I recorded them at three o'clock in the morning. I was very activated, and it's uh with visualizations is something easy to do before work, uh it, you know, in between patients to just kind of release and at the end of your day or with the staff and for the patients leading up to their appointment and the working room, in the dental chair. So then they're not having to listen to the drills to everything else. You know, they just kind of put in this little meditation, it has frequency uh as well. And it's all science-based, you know, what it will calm the nervous system. So it's such an honor. Thank you so much for the conversation. I know you're you're on vacation in the UK right now, so I appreciate the time and for making it work. And and uh we'll be in touch again for sure. I have no doubt we'll collaborate in uh in the future.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:27

Yo, absolutely. And I've invited Melissa to um be a guest um on in my course, so and leading a little breath work. Um I'm honored.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:38

I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. Yes, I can't wait. I love that, right? I always say, I can't do it alone. I love collaborating with people, and it takes uh who you can reach. I I probably can't. So if we work together, we can reach people globally, and uh that's our goal, right? To give back, to be of service to the community. Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for having me and thank you, everyone. Thank you again.