EP 65: One Week Everything Changed: How God Carried Her Through Cancer

Why Not Alone Exists

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome back to Not Alone with Melissa Sue Methine. Now, many people asked me why I started my podcast about a year and a half ago. And it was truly so nobody feels alone. At 42, I was a widow, felt very much alone in that transition. I felt alone having lost a husband due to suicide with two young children. And so what helped me, I dove into listening to podcasts, reading books of people that had gone through immense trauma and how they got out. So each guest that I have on is just that sharing their story, how they got out some very hard, dark times of their lives so that nobody feels alone. And if we can save one life to not feel alone, this is my why. This is me being of service. And I'm utilizing podcasting to reach the masses. So today's guest is another guest that you'll hear that has gone through a diagnosis of cancer, which oftentimes creates so much fear and anxiety. And her name is Marina Blackford, a two-time cancer survivor. And now she uses her YouTube platform and social media to give tips for going through chemo, for going through that transition, losing your hair, where your your hands might get really sweaty and hot through the uh the procedures and the chemo from the fatigue. And so today I was such an honor to have you on and sharing your story because I know today somebody is having that hard diagnosis. And I truly pray that our episode reaches them somehow, somehow. Only God knows He'll make sure that episode reaches them. So it's such an honor to have you here.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

Thank you so much. What a wonderful intro. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Yes, you're welcome. I'd love to, because you know, we've got connected through a mutual friend, Holly, from Strotopia, and I really don't know your your story. I love that.

Life Before The First Diagnosis

SPEAKER_01 2:25

And I love that. Yeah, I actually really like that. You know, I really like not knowing because it's so raw in real conversation. So I want to know leading up to your diagnosis, and if I remember correctly from listening, I do know your first diagnosis was at 31. That's correct. Which is extremely young. Yeah. And that touched me so much because my aunt, my mom's sister, got a breast cancer diagnosis at 32. And she had two young children. They were two and four at the time. So I I know how painful that was. And I just want to know where were you at a year, two, five years prior to that diagnosis?

SPEAKER_00 3:09

That's such a good question. And most people ask just where I was at in that moment, you know, but I think it's important to look at where you were at before hardship sometimes because it might be a little clue of as to why you're where you are.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

Yes. Yeah, because I always say the body will whisper, right?

SPEAKER_00 3:27

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

Those little whispers leading it.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

It's a rock pebble stone. Yeah, yeah. It'll whisper until it until you can't not hear it. Yes, I know.

SPEAKER_01 3:36

And and oftentimes I've connected the dot now. I and why I have this platform, don't wait till it gets so loud. Yeah. Right. And we often numb those whispers, or we normalize them.

unknown 3:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Or we normalize the the little whispers, the fatigue, the, you know, the different symptoms. So I I want to, that's what I want to hear. What were those little whispers? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

Yeah. Well, a year prior to being diagnosed, so I was 31. I was single. I was um in my career of dental hygiene and, you know, but just paying my bills and traveling and really enjoying life. Um, but a year prior, I had exited a relationship that I had been in for 10 years. And um I actually celebrated it around a little, a little bit before being diagnosed, saying it was my year of uh year anniversary of being single, and I celebrated it. And I had friends laugh that they're like, I've been single this whole time. Why haven't I been celebrating my single anniversary? But I was just, I that's always kind of been how I am. So that's a little clue into my personality. I always spin things a bit, you know, into a positive, like leaning into it, you know. And so um, that relationship was something I grew through in my 20s and I learned a lot and a lot of good things from it. But turning 30, realizing that that wasn't my forever place to be, it was really empowering to step into the next part of my life. And I started to travel and just enjoying the single life. And um, at that point, I had been running a lot and I'd finally built up enough strength and belief that I could do a full marathon, 26.2 miles. And it had been this journey to even get there, by the way. I mean, there was a point in my life where I said I am not a runner to somebody that asked if I was. And then now I was training for my third marathon right before being diagnosed. So that's where I was. I was training for this marathon. I was about to run the Mesa Marathon in Phoenix, Arizona, in East Valley. And um, but I had the pebble rock stone. I had this little twinge of pain that was showing up in one of my breasts, and it was just this little twinge, and it was every day, and it was just a gentle reminder at the time that it was time to schedule my first mammogram. And so to give you a little back history, also, my mom is a two-time, was a two-time breast cancer survivor at that time, and they said, go at 31 for your first mammogram. Like this number they gave me. 10 years younger than your mom. And I'm like, I have this twinge of pain, I'm 30, about to be 31. It was that little whisper like telling me it was time to call my women's doctor, get in, get the referral. And so I did. I just started taking those steps alongside of training for this marathon. And so I went to my women's doctor, got the mammogram, and the mammogram, my breast was sore from that little bit of pain, you know, from them squishing your breasts and checking it. I'm like, that just doesn't feel right. And it was concerning to them. And they said, we need you to come back and do a biopsy. And so as soon as they could do that, it was about two weeks after, which was perfect in my mind because my priority was running this marathon I had been training for. And so I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go run this marathon next week and I'll be back the week after. And that's what I did. I ran the Mesa Marathon with the sole goal of qualifying for the Boston marathon. So that's huge because you do have to run fast for 26.2 miles, and so I I went to the Mesa Marathon. This is my third time running it. Coming from somebody that said they were once not a runner. And I now knew I could do a marathon. This was my third year in a row of doing the same marathon. And I just knew in my mind I was, I I I just knew I was gonna do it that day. I can't even explain it. I I knew my training went as well as it could, I had the belief I could do it. I knew all the turns and corners of this race. And so when I was so close to the end of this race, I had a very small window of qualifying. Like I had to run an eight-minute mile for the last two miles. No, no give at all. And I could start to hear people at the finish line. Cause if you've ever ran a race and there's like the point two of a 26.2 or a point one of a of a 3.1, you know, 5k. It's like you're so close, but you're not there. I could hear people and I I just I just I gave it everything. Everything. My legs were sore, my toes had blisters, which is not always common in my races, but this one, I just fought for it. And I crossed that finish line and I had just a couple minutes to spare. I had qualified for Boston. So that's where I was at

The Twinge That Would Not Stop

SPEAKER_00 8:35

one week before getting the biopsy. That ended up coming back positive for breast cancer. Breast cancer. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

I want an accomplishment right before and showing how your mindset, right? Okay, you shifted your mindset, but I'm not a runner, that I can do this. And in fact, now I could do a marathon, which I've never done myself. I've always claimed to be a runner, love running. And actually, in fact, I utilize running when suppressing so much information, so much anxiety going on. I'm like, I just need to run, right? That was my therapy. Yeah, it is. It is primal to just move it out of your body, all that energy. So that must have been such a um, like almost like an a high, you know, give me you're like, wow, I did it. It was the mountaintop. Yeah, mountaintop. I felt like I did Everest. Yeah. And I wonder if that gift gave you when you got your diagnosis, you're like, I could do hard things. Yeah. Right? 100%. I can I can conquer this mountain now. It gave you almost that strength, that mental strength that you probably needed with that diagnosis now. And I'm just curious, just to circle back to you had mentioned leaving a 10-year relationship. Now that's that's a long time would be with someone. Yeah. And there's obviously a grief period, even though you said you celebrate, which is great because how many people that are single out there where they feel out of the box, right? In you know, the 30s or 40s, 60s, and there's the oh, probably should now, you know, is settle and don't have kids and all the things, right? That comes into the mind. So was that relationship, uh, if you don't mind me asking, was it a um a toxic relationship where it was just mutual leaving? Like how did that relationship for that 10 years being together, how it affected you in for your body, for your health?

SPEAKER_00 10:21

Wow. Yeah, it's oh man, it was everything. I mean, I felt like I grew through it, right? Because your 20s is so much growth. It's so much figuring out who you are and what you like and what you like doing, you know. And I felt like we were able to do that at the time, right? I went to college, become dental hygienist, and that person had a career of um emergency medicine and

Gut Instinct And Relationship Stress

SPEAKER_00 10:40

then joining the military. And um, we went through all that together. And so um at the end, yes, it felt like a relationship that for me was very draining, to be honest. I just felt like a lot of give and not a lot of receiving. And that was a choice on me, you know, where am I at? Do is this where I want to stay? Um, but when it ended, I think it ended honestly in a way of me finding out about infidelity, which I'm okay saying because I know, and I've told anybody that was around me at the time about this, I think that was the only way I would have left. So, as strong as I want to appear, uh, you know, on the outside, like I needed that to know that it was done.

SPEAKER_03 11:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

And um, so there was a heartbreak in that sense. But again, I always just flip everything. I'm like, it it had to end that way. Yeah, it had to be that gift because it was the only way I would have known that I needed to step away.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

It really tells people we don't want to see it. And we talk about body.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

Oh my gosh, the gut. Like I I knew in my my stomach, I knew in my body for probably about a year before. A friend of mine's a therapist in Scottsdale, and she was saying, Your the body will know before the mind. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

So were you having like gut issues or were you having Yeah, I I I didn't know it.

SPEAKER_00 11:54

It was just a feeling, like you know, yeah, it was just in my stomach, I felt like there's something that's supposed to change here.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

Yeah, yeah, you can feel it. That's why I feel like the gut says it for me was like acid reflex or having a harder time digesting.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

I didn't have like symptoms necessarily, I think it was literally like an ache. You know, like just that knowing inside. And it's crazy that it's the gut too.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

Yes, and that'll affect your nervous system because almost when you're in that presence of even though your body knows that this no longer aligns. Yeah. But when you're in that present, it's almost on high alert. Yeah. So your nervous system will be in that fight and flight when you're around that person because you know longer need to be around them.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:33

And and so I've realized that just, you know, studying the nervous system and my own journey.

SPEAKER_00 12:40

And reflecting back on it, like the clarity that comes after it, you know, that you're like, oh, oh, that makes sense. You know, why I might have felt that way. So yeah, I'm I'm I'm really happy you asked that actually, because I think it's that could somebody could hear that in and sometimes we're now willing to see it, depending on how you were working, you know, how how many days a week were you working at that point? I was working uh four days a week at that point.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

That's a lot in dental hygiene, any dental, like thank you for saying that. It is a lot of people.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

Trust me, because yes, uh right now I I do two days a week and I'm like, oh, that's that's like a sweetest, because you start getting carpo-tunneled, you're back, everything's physical, but it's the exchange of energy too, you know, because people come in nervous, and so you're trying to always calm them with your energy, and you could be a patient every hour, right? So, and I always said every hour I want to make that patient feel like they're my only patient of the day. Yes, but you do that times like eight or 10, you know.

SPEAKER_01 13:32

I've been out at one office here, it's like 12. I was like, oh my gosh. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

So that's a look of energy to give all day to make people feel comfortable. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

Absolutely. And I'm glad you brought that up because I was curious. Once I learned that you were a dental hygienist, which I didn't till today. And I was like very curious because where you're at. So your nervous system, obviously, when you're at dental hygienists, I know we're such in close proximity, and we do take on our patient's nervous system, which often is somebody that's scared.

SPEAKER_00 14:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Somebody that has anxiety the minute they sit in that chair, and we will try and comfort them. We're kind of that first line of the fence, you know, before they see the, you know, the exam with a dentist, and we're on the preventative side, but we don't understand how as a dental hygienist, over time that affects our nervous system. If we don't do different things to release what we just carried for someone, doing our own internal work. And that for me was breath work.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

Breath work.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

And uh, so that's why I coach now, you know, dental professionals in between patients when you're washing your hands to do a couple breath to relax, to downregulate your nervous system, which in a dental practice, I used to pride myself to go, go, go, wake up at 4:45, go to the gym, get my kids ready for school, bring them to school, go to work, go pick them up, make dinner. And try to come home and in a happy state too. Like, have the energy for my kids. Yeah.

unknown 14:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

And so it's just, oh, I would pride myself of checking that box all day long. And my nervous system never stopped.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

Never stopped. And how that impacted me. And of course, being in a relationship, also where it would impact my nervous system, where my body was also speaking up and saying, This is not right anymore. You know, to have boundaries and this, like that. But until, like you, something big happens in me too. I do not leave a toxic relationship until the worst case scenario. Right. And and so it's be and I realize it has come to be because of our nervous system. Our nervous system, we were kind of that either the fawn or you know, you've you're in that freeze state because you're tapped out.

unknown 15:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:51

So making that first step is hard. When you are in that nervous system state where you're in that fight and flight, making that first step is overwhelming. You overthink it.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

So, but for you, I love that you did have that courage. Yeah, even though you felt because trust me, I know a lot of people that they find out that information of adultery and they're like, okay, well, we can make this work, which some can, which some can't.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

Well, some of them might be, you know, you there, because there's always two sides to everything, and then the middle or something. But yeah, because their side could be lots of excuses or talking, whatever. I feel like I'd kind of gone through that emotionally in the relationship before. Um, but this was it where it was like, no, this is the courage to to to move.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

But then there had to be a grieving process. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

I always, yeah, that's the exact word I use too. I think the grieving process for me, because that was my friend in a part of my life that I grew, you know, my 20s. And so I really uh grieved that, you know, because we had a lot of good time together or trips or whatever, you know. I'm like, it's like losing a friend. But um at the same time. It was definitely probably absolutely. I'm sure running was part of both, apparently. I think it's part of hygiene as well. Because I sometimes I would do a run right after work, but I was even that person that would go for walks on the lunch break. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

Oh, I go outside now, and I go sit under a tree.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

I'll meet up my social, my um coworkers a little bit, you know, like phone, you know, check message, eat lunch, and I'm like, okay, if I have 20 minutes, I'm going to go outside too. Um, which plays into my story later with YouTube. But uh, yeah, for sure. It's it it I kind of lost my train of thought there.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

But no, I just love I love the backstory before we get in. I know it's very important to know because you have such a great story of how you, you know, how you can help people through chemo and all of that. But I I want people to start hearing the before. Yeah. So then those could be, okay, maybe we're we're signaling something to someone right now. Yes. What is your gut saying? What is your gut saying in the relationship you're in? Yeah. Because I see it so much. Yeah. Who you are living with, who you are spending life with, are they affecting your health?

SPEAKER_00 18:02

Oh, yeah. Right? If some if it isn't just mentally and emotionally, it could be physically too. Yes. Because, you know, I gave the excuse of like your 20s is your time that you might party more, you know, college life, whatever. But at some at some point, to be honest, that should really slow down. Oh, yes. And it wasn't in that relationship. And so, yeah, where if I'm starting to run more and stuff, and it doesn't feel like that person's supporting that, you know, like let's move in this direction of health.

SPEAKER_02 18:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:31

Versus like we're young and free and parting, then that and it wasn't. It really wasn't. So it's true. It was like kind of a bar lifestyle, which is bar food and drinking, and and it's like, yeah, it's not all the aspects.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

Or they bring you to, yeah, is the significant other bring you to be your best self or drawing you into their spiral? Yeah. Right? Yeah. Which path you want to take.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

So that's, I feel, is an important message. How are you feeling around that person? And are you starting to feel these little symptoms being around them? Yeah. You know, be observant of that because even mental abuse, you can't feel you can't physically like, oh, nobody's hitting me. But the mental abuse keeps you in that spiral. And that cloud, it's so confusing. And I've seen it where people get spiral and get stuck in those situations until somebody from the outside starts seeing it and can kind of draw them out.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

Right?

SPEAKER_00 19:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

But it's almost or your health will draw you out. Yes. Your health. The health.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

The health plummets is where I see it. And now I can't help but see it so clearly.

SPEAKER_03 19:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

So where I'm like, their health is because of who they are around right now. And it's impacting them. And now, so that's why I want the the backstory of because usually cancer doesn't just come sprouts over a month. Right. Right. It's it's like it's years of those little nicks, you know, to your nervous system, to your cells. They're losing their light, you know, bring in the science of that. And often time people don't reflect back on the suppression of emotions, how it affects your on a cellular level.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

And and I want people to hear that. I want people to know that. Because that led you to a diagnosis at 31. Yeah. At 31, where you said, you know, well, at this time you, you, you were running, you know, you had, you know, you had community. Yeah you know, life to seem great job. Great. And you had a great mental state. It seems like you're very positive in nature. But it was those slow nicks leading up to it, you know?

SPEAKER_00 20:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Yeah, it really was. It affecting my

Triple Negative And BRCA1 Truths

SPEAKER_00 20:40

physical health, mental health. And so everything led where it was supposed to be, though. I think is how I viewed it.

SPEAKER_01 20:47

And when you got your diagnosis, what stage were you at, if you don't mind me asking?

SPEAKER_00 20:51

Um, I was stage two due to the size of the tumor. And so a mammogram can find tumors, right? So we found a tumor where that twinge of pain was. That was a fast-growing tumor, which is called a grade. So that was grade three, fast growing, in dense breast tissue. And that's why I could feel that little twinge of pain.

SPEAKER_01 21:09

Was it was it warm and and painful?

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Um, I mean, it was it, I just couldn't ignore it. It was like a like a, I guess you could say warm.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

Because I've had that in my and I had um a scara as well. Yeah, you know, and it was hot, it was heat, and it was a pain.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

Yeah, it was definitely a pain. It was like it was an ache. An ache is how I would describe it. Like you just you can't ignore it. But that being said, yes, women can get um nodules, in dense breast tissue, and that could be, you know, so it's not always cancer, but it's always worth checking.

SPEAKER_01 21:41

Oh, yeah, 100%. Always worth checking, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

And so it was um stage two for due to the size, which is over a centimeter. Um, but it was not stage three because it hadn't advanced to lymph nodes or stage four, which would be other areas, which is why it's so imperative to do preventative testing, right? Yep. Yep. So I'm so glad they gave me that protocol. I'm so glad I listened to my body. And I just I went in and got it done.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

And then uh so for your procedure, what was recommended was chemo, key radiation?

SPEAKER_00 22:11

Yeah, good question. With breast cancer, there are so many subtypes. You know, so some people could get confused with having breast cancer. Well, they didn't do chemo or they didn't, they just removed a lump. So with mine, um, it was triple negative. So that's negative for the three hormone receptors that can feed breast cancers. That is considered a more aggressive breast cancer, but the good news is it responds to chemo well. And so being diagnosed triple negative, I was told I would start chemo. And um it was, I was also, I also found out I had the genetic mutation that my mom had, which as soon as I found out I had breast cancer, I'm like, I'm I'm sure I am BRACA-1 positive because my mom had had it twice at that point. So that's about 10% of breast cancers that have a genetic mutation on the breast cancer gene. So that is um in your immune system, it just isn't fight off.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

Yeah, that's why I actually feel like doing genetic testing. People almost say, Well, I don't want to know. But if you did know, the preventative things that you can kind of be attuned to.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, I almost feel like knowing I had I was positive for BRACA1, I knew I would remove my breasts because that was the best odds of not having cancer come back, which did happen for my mom. She had it twice. Um, and that was because they didn't, they used to not test test for the genetic mutations, they didn't have all that technology then. But by the second time they did, and she removed her breasts. So um I found out I was that. And so I don't like it's almost like I'm glad we're talking about all of this because I if somebody hears us in their BRCA one, like myself, or maybe they're checking to see if they are, it's good to know your options. But for all the others, it's good to know, it's good to know all of it. Yes, BRAC a one gives it's empowered me to know I could take control of my journey, remove my breasts. Um, but also the 90% that it's not genetics, and we can empower all those other areas of our life to prevent breast cancer as well.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

Absolutely. Yeah, I love that because some people's like, well, that could stay in their mind. Well, my my mom, and I always say, Oh, just stay on the because that's again speaking to your body, say, well, they got it. Because my aunt did that. Yeah, because her sister, yeah, uh, you know, died of breast cancer at such a young age. She kept on saying, Well, I'm gonna get it, and I'm gonna get it. And she came to visit last fall, and I said, she's French, you know. I was like, Oh, my aunt, you know, you were literally bringing that almost like bringing that on, saying, I will get it, I will get it. And she's like, I know, I know. And yeah, and she she did get it, yeah, and she survived it and she went through treatment. But yeah, it's it's like you have to be careful of your mindset too when you think of your family members. Yes. And um, because your mind speaks to each cell of your body, and doing the genetic testings, I do find it beneficial because then you can, on a cellular level, is how to optimize your body where disease can't grow.

SPEAKER_03 25:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

That's where I'm really passionate about. Just came back from um a She Heel documentary in Khan in the film festival where they advocate for women's health. And I had 80 experts that were there from all over talk about uh what's affecting our hormones. Um, from Dr. Pampa was there, you know, just they're all advocating as to how we keep your cells healthy. Yeah so then, so then you're not your body is not a breeding ground for illness, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:35

Definitely. Yeah, exactly. It's about supporting the immune system. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 25:39

And so even with cancer treatment, I'm curious, did you try anything else in adjunction to the chemo to support your cells along the way or immunotherapy, or you know, I've heard so many things that that works great as far as red light therapy with um uh methylene blue and uh to Evermectin, different things that I heard other cancer survivors, other practitioners use in a junction.

SPEAKER_00 26:07

Yes. Yes. Um I when I was diagnosed, I I was at a cancer center. And actually initially I was with an with uh I was referred to a breast specialist that I saw initially, an older man. And I kept discussing, I felt very open about discussing everything. So in my running group, and one of my patients were nurses that worked at the cancer center ended up going to. They referred me to the oncologist I saw. It was the whole, like, if my mom, my sister, you know, if I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I would see this person. So I went to get my second opinion with that person. And so I think that's very important to mention because I think sometimes you might need another referral or another opinion just to kind of feel comfortable with your next step. And so when I met that oncologist, everything was explained so well. She made it very clear, you have triple negative, it's very aggressive, I don't want to mess around with it. Chemo is recommended. And so I trusted her and I knew I would do that. That being said, since that time, I have become a certified holistic cancer coach. So I have learned about the things you're talking about. Okay, supporting the immune system, alternative therapies. But being a holistic cancer coach, there are times that I can definitely tell you for certain cancers, you you do need traditional medicine. It's very important to get that treatment plan in that opinion. I think it's a blind. For me, it's

Choosing Chemo Plus Support Tools

SPEAKER_00 27:30

a blend. And so I'm I feel like the internet in the world wants us to pick a side.

SPEAKER_01 27:35

Yes, I know I'm like that. It's like bridge, both. And that's not me. That's not me either. Maybe it's a hygienist, too. I think so. I think it can be sometimes people take it wrong the way I say is explain things. But I was like, I'm not against medication and all that, but let's blend both. Yes, right? Because there's a benefit in blending both.

SPEAKER_00 27:55

If we want longevity, yes, right? Right. Like, I mean, because there was a whole world of medicine before medicine, you know, so why not look at all of it? So I'm thankful for the journey. I'm thankful that I knew that I no doubt I would do chemo. Um, that was important because young women die of triple negative that do not get chemo. I will just say that. I know that for a fact. I've had a friend pass away. She did not have triple negative, but she had her two positive and didn't start with chemo. She went the entire holistic route until the end, and she's not here. And she was diagnosed in her 30s, and she was, I would say, fitter than me. You know, she had fitness competitions and amazing things. So chemo did save my life. But what I did during chemo was I went to the cancer center and said, What else do you have here for me? You know, and there was in this back little section of the cancer center, MD Anderson. Um, at the time they had uh acupuncture and they had yoga and like, you know, a social meetup. And so the one thing I could do was acupuncture because of the schedule and working. Um, and so I like signed me up. And so my oncologist had to approve it, but they were able to do it during chemo, and it helped manage so many symptoms of anxiety, of um neuropathy, which is very common with chemo, um, certain types of chemo, but getting numbness and pain in your hands and feet from the effects of chemo. And so it can prevent that. So I had acupuncture during almost all of my chemo. Uh, it is something they took out of the cancer centers after the pandemic. Oh no. Because it was a non-essential during the pandemic. Just start seeing it as I broke my heart because and I know this because I'll probably get there, but I I am a two-time survivor, right? So this is my first journey we're talking about. But my my second journey happened in 2020 diagnosis, end of 2020. So I went through 2021, the pandemic, in treatment again at the cancer center. And so that was taken out. But I did go see an acupunction, acupuncturist um from time to time. It was just very helpful. And then I did anything else I could. I wore wristbands that prevented nausea, something you might wear on like a cruise ship. I took ginger with me. I drank ginger tea in the morning. I would brew it and um take it with and drink it. You know, so I just felt like all these little practices, I just it was like taking my marathon mindset into treatment. And I just thought, how can I support myself during this time? If I'm choosing chemo, which I did, and I chose it. I I like when my hair loss came and I lost my hair, it's heartbreaking. It's a transition.

SPEAKER_01 30:30

Especially as a woman, I feel like that would. We're so attached to our hair. We're so attached to our hair.

SPEAKER_00 30:34

It was the one thing in that in that meeting with that oncologist when she's saying, You're gonna have chemo, you're gonna lose your hair. You'll likely lose your breasts, you know, if your genetic testing is positive. It was. I started to cry and I felt so vain in that moment. And they said, No, I mean, this is extreme. It's our identity. No, we can even hide what's under a shirt, but this is our identity. Um, but accepting all of that, but didn't you?

SPEAKER_01 30:56

I I did read one of your clips. I love that you said you shared a tip, yeah, which I love. Yeah, uh, where you're like, if you had because you had long hair. You say, cut your hair. Yes.

unknown 31:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 31:07

And in that way, that gives you almost that, okay, okay. It's cut. So you go through that mentally, and then it won't be as much as having the really helpful for the transition.

SPEAKER_00 31:16

Yeah, I don't know where that came recommended, but I did it. I chopped my hair short before losing it. So that way I knew what it would look like when I wanted to grow it back and I would have a hairstyle to strive for. It just helped with the transition. Transition, yeah. Every little thing I did just helped. And so I took that marathon mindset into my treatment plan and supported myself with all of these things.

SPEAKER_01 31:35

Yeah, and even the mindset leading up in believing that this chemo is good for you, right? Yes, right.

SPEAKER_00 31:42

Thank you. I mean, I was leading to that, but I would not let the words set in of like chemo's toxic or poison or some of the words people might use or feel, that's fine, that's up to them. But when I lost my hair, I told myself, good, the chemo's working.

SPEAKER_01 31:56

Oh, that's so good.

SPEAKER_00 31:58

I mean, it's all about how you view things. I mean, that sucked, but if I'm if I'm trying to get rid of cancer and my hair is a side effect, that sucks.

SPEAKER_01 32:07

It's working.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

But I need to live. I want if I'm doing this, I'm doing it for a reason. And that, and so I would always say things like that, like, good, the chemo's working.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

I like that. I like that man said, because actually my last guest was Melissa Nucleo, who is also a cancer survivor. And she changed a mindset like that about when she'd get the chemo, she would, you know, prey on it, said this is gonna be good. Just what whatever I need, take the good from it, what what's not good, release it. Yes. And she believed her healing. She already believed like it, she's already cancer free. And I truly believe her mindset helped her heal as well.

SPEAKER_00 32:42

I was gonna say, bless oncologists that don't give you even your stage sometimes, to be honest. Um, I'm always fine sharing my stage. A lot of people love to ask about it. What stage were you? And honestly, unless like I'm gonna die tomorrow, like I don't know that it mattered a ton.

SPEAKER_01 33:01

Right, because it kind of gives you almost like a the oncologist was just like, this is the type of breast cancer you have.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

Here's what we're gonna do, because this is what we need to do to get you cancer free. Done. Yeah, done, you know, because it sometimes we get too hung up on the stages and the what ifs, and then forget about it if you start to Google things at night. Oh, yeah, you know, so I really steered clear of a lot of that because I had I I trusted where it was at.

SPEAKER_01 33:24

You trusted, which is so important. I think even if somebody says, okay, they're given the stage four, don't equate that with a death sentence. No, like stage four friends.

SPEAKER_00 33:34

They're credible, they've been thriving for 10 years.

SPEAKER_01 33:36

That's so good. And I think that's so important to hear because that mindset will give you the power to kind of keep going and maybe um, you know, find ways to support yourself throughout. So, what else are you supporting now as a coach that is an all uh in a junction or like um that blends in with the chemo and radiation? Because I think when people are open to that, I remember having Melissa and she's like, okay, now I am open to incorporating some of these different modalities, but it's hard. Who do you trust? Right. And having someone like you who has gone through it twice and know how it will impact your body along the way, I think that's some where somebody would trust you.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

Yes. Right? Yeah, yeah.

Hair Loss And A Healing Mindset

SPEAKER_00 34:20

I think it's really individual, to be honest. When I've worked with people with coaching, um, most of my work is all on YouTube. And then I did start to offer coaching and I've in I really have enjoyed that. I've been able to support people through treatment that have been diagnosed. But it's just such an individual thing how people process it and handle it. And so I think the steps of where they want to begin. Do they want to begin with their mind? Do they want to begin with their food?

SPEAKER_01 34:45

You know, yeah, because nutrition is a big one.

SPEAKER_00 34:47

And it's a big one. It's only nutrition really is.

SPEAKER_01 34:49

Like if we're right, you don't want to feed the kids.

SPEAKER_00 34:51

I don't think it takes much though to turn our nutrition around. I think we put way too much, way too much on it in a way.

SPEAKER_01 34:58

That's good. I think we need to simplify it.

SPEAKER_00 35:00

It's like, okay, so people want like a grocery list of tell me exactly what to do. And I want to be like, well, tell me what you're doing now and what's one thing we can eliminate? What's one thing we can swap? I actually don't even use the word eliminate. I usually say swap, I guess unless it's smoking, you know. Um, the goal there is to quit. But when it's, you know, I I probably drink too much soda. Okay, well, what can we swap that with? Can we cut that all the way back to one diet coke? Can we switch that out for trying something different? You know, it's like that's where we start. I like that. So you're simplifying it, then overriding their whole diet right away. I mean, if that's if that's where they're at, if they come to you and say, I'm ready, let's purchase the pantry, then I'm like, let's do it. But it's just so individual.

SPEAKER_01 35:38

Which is great because it's probably depends on where they're at. If it might be overwhelming, if you're saying, okay, we got to revamp everything and here's all the protocol, and that doesn't work either, right?

SPEAKER_00 35:46

Well, it took me years to believe I was a runner, let alone get to a marathon. So a lot of people have to build on the belief that they can do it. Yes, you know, and a lot of people just don't believe they can do it. They're like, oh, cooking's too hard, eating healthy is too hard, working out's too hard, whatever it is.

SPEAKER_01 35:59

Yeah, so now you have to work with mindset first.

SPEAKER_00 36:01

Yeah, mindset. And you work with mindset sometimes by just like one little thing.

SPEAKER_01 36:05

Yeah. Which is so important. Yeah, you gotta start where they're at, meet them where they're at, right? And so it's not a cookie cutter type of uh protocol, which is important. And what are some of the um are you doing anything now that is, you know, that you're trying to keep cancer at bay or different protocols that you're taking on for yourself? I think stress. Stress management.

SPEAKER_00 36:27

I think stress management is huge. And um, you know, where I'm at now living, I'm on a new path and it's very exciting, but it's very nerve-wracking, you know, because I don't have this um safety blanket of dental hygiene right now. Um, I've chosen that though. I've chosen to step into where God is leading me and it's been able to speak to some um corporate wellness events, and I love that. Um, and so it's it's nerve-wracking. And so my management right now is like is is one day at a time, which is how I got through treatment. You know, one day at a time. Like today, what's the most important thing I have to do today? Today I need to talk to God, what priorities are for the family, you know, and then just take it one step at a time.

SPEAKER_01 37:09

Because you have a child, right? Yes, I have two. Two, you have two. How old are they?

SPEAKER_00 37:13

Yeah, my son is eight, my daughter's five.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

Okay, five.

SPEAKER_00 37:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

So, yeah, so I love that you're priorizing stress management because we've normalized the go, go, go, yeah, the fast paced, how much more can I fit in? Whereas healing, so this is again me in the nervous system, I can't lens. We cannot heal, the body cannot heal in that sympathetic fight in flight. It it just physically, science, you can't heal in that state. So the minute you are in the parasympathetic, that's a rest and repair. More oxygen to the body, more blood flow. So we have to constantly on a daily basis, what can I do to slow down more? Yeah, like sit in prayer. How can I take a few breaths? Like for me, is it's breath work. Breath work is something you can carry with you every day.

SPEAKER_00 38:01

So good.

SPEAKER_01 38:02

And normalizing slowing down, not having guilt, especially as a parent, right? We have that guilt. You yours, you know, the five-year-old stage is this a busy stage, right? Yes, and so normalizing taking mom time, dad times, and to to heal.

SPEAKER_00 38:19

So true.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

And and for the family.

SPEAKER_00 38:21

Taking the time and taking it guilt-free, like being in it too, you know, giving yourself the permission. Because a lot of us women do it to ourselves. We're either not accepting the help, you know, or we're we're guiltily doing the thing for ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 38:35

So it's really overgiving that you had mentioned, right? Oh, yeah. Have you worked on that? Because it sounds like that was a pattern. Yeah, because I know I have. Yes. Learning to say no.

SPEAKER_00 38:44

I was yes man for so long. And the great thing about yes man is it takes you on such amazing adventures. You know, I was on an adventure last summer. I said yes on social media and I ended up at Jesse Itzler's house.

SPEAKER_03 38:54

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:55

His wife is Sarah Blakely, the Sphinx founder. Yes, and um, I just wanted the Mother's Day, you know, retreat to go. But I was amongst 40 entrepreneurs that paid a lot of money and to me, we're doing a lot more amazing things. And I was like, I'm a YouTuber. But I have but at the same time, you were meant to be there. It's building my um, yes, it's I because we don't give ourselves enough credit for what we what we've been through in life sometimes. And we've all been through something. So if you've been through something that you're just a step ahead of someone else, you can always pay that forward to the person behind you. So it was important to say, like, actually, yes, I have built a YouTube to over, you know, 30,000 and reached millions worldwide. And because my my sole mission of starting the YouTube was to give chemo tips.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I've watched your short clips and yeah, they are so needed. They are like, I've never seen that. And I was like, oh gosh, yeah, how many people would need those little tips leading up to it? Being be prepared and changing those mindset.

Stress Management And Simple Nutrition Swaps

SPEAKER_01 39:55

And you should be so proud. And I feel the more for me, that work on my nervous system, more I'm ready for these big things that are I'm supposed to be at. Yes. My nervous system could take that on because it is new, like speaking on stages, um, being in front of the camera. Like those are things that would like completely give me so much anxiety. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:17

And when you start to see people do it, let's say on social media or something, they always make it look so easy, or you don't see the behind the scenes, you know. But the truth is we're all building on this belief. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:26

I do so much prep work, like even leading up to here. I'm I sit in my meditation, I do breath work, I have my samples, I I do some prepping leading up. When I went up to Cons and I actually hit podcasts from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. I had never done that before. I brought my PMF mat, red light. I actually peptides, I love NED.

SPEAKER_00 40:46

Is the PMF mat the kind of little pokey?

SPEAKER_01 40:49

They're a little bit uh no, they had crystals in it, is the therasage one. Oh, okay. But PMF is just the electromagnetic. Oh, well, I don't know if you share more with me, but I do have red light mats. Yes. Yeah, and these I took it throughout my travels and lay down on there and my red light mat.

SPEAKER_00 41:05

Yes. Again, you're like, oh, I don't know what this does. I can tell you what the what it intentionally does is makes you sit down.

SPEAKER_01 41:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 41:11

Or lay down, whatever it is, right? And sometimes that's all we need.

SPEAKER_01 41:14

And sometimes it put me asleep, and like it live, it puts me on there and it helps me just kind of get grounded and slow down. And then I I fall asleep so easily. And so those are the little tools, right? And sometimes because of our environment, unfortunately, we don't live in a bubble, right? So a lot of things that we don't see is affecting our nervous system on a daily basis from EMFs, you know, our phones, 5G. So yeah, putting that away.

SPEAKER_00 41:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 41:40

Uh when you go to bedtime. Now, one thing I've been doing is uh turning off the router when we go to bed.

SPEAKER_00 41:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:46

You know, all these little things that you know, they're little tweaks that you start noticing what is affecting my nervous system. Cause the more I work on it, stress management, the more I'm ready to be in alignment to fully and step into my purpose, right? Yeah. And I'm more ready to show up as a mom too for seeing the truth, right? Because sometimes if I think back when I I I knew I'm living with um a man now that is addicted to opioids and pain meds, and and now I understand the reasons why, you know, as far as like the nervous system affected on a daily basis in a dental practice, but also uh the mercury poisoning in a dental practice, the sensory overload. So there's so much I've learned now that can impact your nervous system. So this is why I utilize the podcast to educate and hear your story and hear how mindset stress management should be on the highest priority and sleep, right?

SPEAKER_00 42:46

Sleep, huge, huge sleep. Um, I love that. And even just the sense of like, we're always like, what do I need to do? Sometimes it's not adding something, sometimes it is taking something away. It's like more of a subtraction thing. Yeah, I guess that's why you even start with the swap, right? Okay, let's swap this for that, like a healthy habit for it. For example, yeah, like people swap scrolling for 10 minutes for walking for 10 minutes. Yes. I mean, that's just a swap, you know.

SPEAKER_01 43:09

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 43:09

You're not adding anything.

SPEAKER_01 43:11

Being mindful of how much time, yeah, we do spend on our phones. Yeah. Uh to even people professionals that if they do are working five, six days a week. Okay, how can we manage, bring it down, right? Where you can actually enjoy have to learn how to do it. Life, right? To delegate and release control, which is really hard for business owners oftentimes. And and so, yeah, just finding these swaps. Okay, do we need financially that would obviously the financials come to play? Okay, do we need to downgrade? Yeah. So then I'm healthier, yeah. And not having that heaviness, right? Yes, at what cost? Exactly. Yep, exactly. So um, so being mindful of all these little swaps that we often put excuses behind too, right?

SPEAKER_00 43:54

I'm such a good point, especially as a mom, we're like, I'm too tired to work out, or I'm too tired. Like I have to like just put that in there. I mean, I went to the gym this morning with my kids, you know, and I was like, I I I need this for my mental health. Yes. Oh, me too. That's always a big one. It's it's just gotta be in there and everything else can work around it. Yeah. So you gotta put in those heavy blocks of what's most important. And health should be part of that.

SPEAKER_01 44:17

It should, yeah. Should you see it as a gift that you can work out? That a lot of people's like, well, I'm not a workout person or I'm not a gym person.

SPEAKER_00 44:24

Sure. I've done all of it though. I've had babies. So I mean, I've used uh an app at home. You know, you can use YouTube at home from from your TV, from your phone. I mean, pockets of time. Somebody's, you know, a child's napping. I'm working out for 15 minutes on a yoga mat.

SPEAKER_01 44:38

Yeah. And then as my kids grew, because I had a home gym too in Alaska, and I would just bring the kids in there or doing nap time. Yeah. And even now that my kids, it's summer break, so a little harder to navigate work and this. Well, yesterday I was like, okay, I still have a lot of the weights and set up that in my garage. So I got my son. Okay, you want to work out with me? Let's do it, you know? Yeah. And then you're showing them that's normal part of life or prioritizing when I do leave for the gym. I say, okay, mommy's taking this time because it's very important for her to take care of her body. So longevity. I want to be around for you.

SPEAKER_00 45:11

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 45:11

Right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:12

Modeling it, talking to our kids, showing them we're people that we have to make these decisions through the day, anyways, too. Because your identity could be a mom. And so then you again you feel that guilt of like, oh, but I'm taking away from them. But I mean, it's that it's normal to feel that way, but you need to take care of yourself.

SPEAKER_01 45:28

Yeah, you need to find a balance. Yeah, find a balance. And oftentimes that's really hard. So if I I mean, I I love what we shared right now. Is there some information that we haven't touched based that I know would be so important to a lot of people?

Second Diagnosis With Two Kids

SPEAKER_01 45:40

Yes, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 45:41

I was diagnosed the second time. Um, I had had my two kids. So since I did chemo, it was very important to ask do you want to have kids if you're diagnosed young with breast cancer? And find out your options. So I was given the option of doing Zolodex, which is an injection to protect your ovaries, put you into menopause. And I did that. And so by doing that, I was able to have my son and daughter um about a year and a half after chemo was done. That's good to know. Um, yes, so important to know. And so that is the best to so I just want to put that out there for anybody. Um, my second journey, uh, my son was two and my daughter was a newborn.

SPEAKER_02 46:18

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00 46:18

When I was uh when I felt a lump again, so I was just in the shower. So self-checks are important, paying attention, but I was just washing with soap and I felt something that didn't feel right a lump. And it was to the side of my reconstruction. So again, that whisper, that knowing, I knew immediately I needed to call my oncologist. And I did the next day, got in and I was diagnosed again.

SPEAKER_01 46:39

Wow, with two young ones.

SPEAKER_00 46:41

With two young ones. That was December of 2020. So January 2021, started chemo again. All of that journey is vlogged on my YouTube. And coming to your podcast today and knowing that it's titled Not Alone, I know that my channel, which is my name, Marina Blackford, I've had so many people say, Your videos help me so much, they help me feel not alone just by watching a lot of those vlogs and those tip videos. So I would say anybody young or with kids on the chemo journey, that it can be very helpful. And I'd say use that. And uh, I do pop in for lives on my YouTube channel. So again, the with the goal of letting people just feel connected and not alone, because that's what saved me. One, knowing I was exactly where I needed to be, the trust. And two, knowing that my mom had done it before me. And that I saw that she got through chemo and it was hard, but she did it. So just knowing somebody else has done something before you, it's it's it's so empowering.

SPEAKER_01 47:37

Yeah, I could see that somebody watching you, you know, they might not know anybody else, but now they can find you and watch you and be like, okay, I'm not alone to do this. You're not alone. Yeah, you're not alone, which is so important. Yeah, and have some guidance, right? Because it could be so confusing. Like you said, the Googling, the Yes, and then also sometimes maybe family members might create more fear or not intentionally, but it's just their own, you know, fear of losing you. Yeah. And so it's it's so imperative to have somebody that's strong gone through it and be like, okay, I I have these tools and these tips. And yes, and she's done it with two young kids, which I couldn't couldn't even imagine.

SPEAKER_02 48:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:13

You know, going through all that because you, like you said, you had mentioned the the fatigue and and being able to take care of yourself during that time while you have two very young children.

SPEAKER_00 48:21

Yeah, and I was working still too. So I worked two days a week during that time.

SPEAKER_01 48:25

Oh my goodness. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:27

But that's what I chose to do because I I liked that. I mean, I just it just kept me busy. It made me feel like not just a cancer patient at home, lethargic, you know. I'm like, and when I feel well, I will go do what I can do.

SPEAKER_01 48:39

And I'm sure just you with patients, if they knew what you were going through, you probably, you know, help them for sure. Because we see so many patients that are going through cancer as well and do different illnesses too. So you're probably helping by being there and sharing your story. Yeah. Well, I loved our our conversation. I have no doubt that uh uh who needed to hear that and how they can find you. I know you mentioned the your YouTube, and we'll have it in the show notes too. But mention it again.

SPEAKER_00 49:07

Yes, yep. You can find me everywhere online with Marina Blackford. So that's my YouTube, that's my Instagram, uh, that's my what else do we have? TikTok, all the things I know. There's so many platforms. LinkedIn, yep, LinkedIn.

SPEAKER_01 49:21

And then for the coaching wise, now how would that look like if somebody wanted to called you today, want to coach? Is there, is it like, okay, I'm with you for a couple months, or completely, it's not one size fits all. So you have the initial it's not one size fits all.

SPEAKER_00 49:35

I usually do an intro call that way we can see what your needs are, and then we set it up from there. Um, I viewed it as like a doula. So when I had my son, I had a doula the first time breath breath working. You know, I was like, I did the hypno birthing class. Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 49:48

I was like, oh my gosh, like I know I wanted a lot of birth, all the things, but I'm a different plan. Same. I mean, my son had an infancy sex.

SPEAKER_00 49:56

I know, which is so funny. I come into the hospital with my salt lamp. That's that's me. Hospital with a salt lamp. That if that lets you know.

SPEAKER_01 50:03

My midwife and all the things, yes. That was me.

SPEAKER_00 50:05

So I view it like that. It's like having somebody on your in your corner during treatment that is something that's available. So um, I have a really great resource at marinablackford.info. It's a free chemo checklist, and that is very helpful for knowing how to prep for your chemo day and what to take. And so I'd recommend that too. Wow, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 50:25

I'm so yeah, so honored. I always love how I find my guests. And I'm telling you, I God sends me these guests because the how the whole connection happened and you

Where To Find Marina And Final Hope

SPEAKER_01 50:35

called me, and and uh there's no doubt that you I needed to meet you and share your story, and this is why. This is my big why. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:42

This is my big Oh, and if anybody's wondering, I made it to Boston too. You did? I ran Boston here in time. One year after starting chemo.

SPEAKER_01 50:49

So that's so all things are possible. All things are possible. Yeah, and mindset's a big one. Yep. So yeah, so never giving hope, right? Yeah. Because I think a lot of people do get a diagnosis.

SPEAKER_00 51:02

I'm curious how it would happen. I guess sometimes letting go of the how too. Because I was like, I will crawl across the finish line if I have to. But not overthinking. But I will be there. It was just, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:12

Not overthinking one day at a time, and you, you know, the prepping that you probably did leading up to it. And uh, I like that you said that. Don't overthink the how. Because oftentimes we spiral in the like even from okay, the diagnosis, well, how am I gonna serve? What am I gonna have? Just just one step at a time.

SPEAKER_00 51:30

We get there one step at a time. One step at a time. You'd be surprised where you can get one year, two years, five years later.

SPEAKER_01 51:35

Okay. Yeah. Okay, that's beautiful. Yeah, well, that's a great way to end it.

SPEAKER_00 51:38

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 51:39

Well, thank you so much for listening today. And if you know someone that is going through a journey today of a cancer diagnosis, please share this episode. Please share Marina's information as well. Look at her YouTube. This could be the support that you or loved one needs today, and it could save them, give them hope. And that will have a ripple effect because if they can be a cancer survivor, imagine them sharing their story as well. So let's continue in creating hope in the world and bringing light. Thank you.