EP 67: HOW PARENTS CAN USE SUMMER BREAK TO RESET FAMILY STRESS

Welcome And The Show’s Why

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Welcome back to Not Alone with Melissa Sue. Now, I'm often asked my why. If you're watching today for the first time, my big why is that truly you don't feel alone. So I share stories, I have guests, health experts, or just people that have gone through some hard times and how they got out.

Summer Break Without The Rush

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And today I'm going to talk about, because right now is summer months, I have kids at home. We're not in doing the grind of school, sports, activities. And oftentimes I'm reflecting as, oh, I got to keep my family busy, busy, busy. And I forget almost what I'm teaching about the nervous system, where to normalize slowing down. So this is maybe just a tip and awareness that maybe we should utilize our breaks, the summer breaks. And then trust me, I still have to work as well. So managing all of that, but with kids at home. But how about instead of me thinking I gotta keep my kids so busy to continue the fast pace of the school year with sports, how about we utilize and shift that where we utilize the summer? How as a family we can incorporate more nature time, more slow down time, more connection time. These I think are important tools and perfect time to help regulate our nervous system after a full year of school and sports, which I think is great to keep kids busy, but we got to find a balance. So I'm actually just trying that myself now this summer. I try and finish my work, you know, before you know a certain time, and and after, you know, I always tell my kids, if I the days I'm working from home and not in office and dental office, then I try and finish by one. And then we're gonna go outside and do something in nature and truly connect and unplug for me with my

What Stress Does To The Body

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phone. And I'm gonna talk about why this is important because I've truly dove into learning the nervous system during my own healing as a breathwork facilitator and what I see on a daily basis inside the mouth and how the nervous system shows up. So when we are in the sympathetic, the fight in flight, which oftentimes we are trained to constantly be in as a society, the more we check the box, the more we're like, oh, I've done so well. The more we go, go, go, and we achieve so many things, we often forget that the most reward is actually in the slowing down. Because when we stay in that sympathetic nervous system, we decrease, constrict our airflow. So think the air going up to our brain, going out to our tissues, that's constricted. So that's not good now. Also, the blood flow is constricted. So think about healing purposes. We need a proper flow to our tissues, to our organs for it to heal. So that's why it's so important. I always call it to down regulate, to learn the tools to breathe, to sit still. How often have you sat one hour through breath work or one hour of just stillness, one hour of meditation. Now, most of us will say, I don't have time, I don't have an hour. And I completely get that, but that's where our society as a whole, we haven't normalized

Tiny Daily Practices That Work

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that. So now I always say start with even two, three minutes first thing in the morning of sitting down in prayer. Are you gonna make it part of family routine? If your kids are early risers just like you, ask them to join you. Come say, let's go catch the first sunrise, let's watch it together. Let's take a few breaths together, one hand on the heart, one hand on the belly, inhale through the nose, and then a long exhale, and normalize just some movement, just jumping up and down, turning on a song and use like utilizing dance, showing them that it's okay to start becoming aware of their body, that slowing down is okay, boredom is okay, and what they can do and draw, use art. And so this is where I think utilizing the summertime as parents to connect as a family, to slow down and make them part of a family routine uh throughout the week for the summer. Find ways to connect, uh, have a decide one dinner is gonna be a picnic under a tree or near a lake, near the ocean, just getting more outside and connecting to nature. Now having slow down time, having dates one-on-one with your kids as a family, and most of all, you slowing down, having more me time, because I just know once the school year starts again, you know, I'm part of that that same school schedule that you have to go through, and then there's the the homework, there's also the sports, and that's hard to keep that balance, but I still try to do that throughout the school year. And I understand that the summer now, I use it as a gift for our family now to slow down, reconnect, maybe work on some things that I've seen show

Family Connection Plans For Summer

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up throughout the year. Maybe I am noticing that we need to work on our thoughts. And I can't do it alone. So I find emotional release therapies. And this is when I can make an appointment for chiropractors that work on the nervous system for my kids. Much easier to incorporate these tools in the summertime. So I actually utilize my summers now to incorporate some of the things that we need to really work on for a nervous system. Because I know a nervous system that can never rest and repair can never allow for healing. And this is where I need you to understand the science behind it. If you constantly keep grinding and your kids do it, it'll show up in their behavior as more anxiety, more sleep disturbances, more outbursts. And as a dental hygienist, I could say that could also be because they're mouth breathers. So this might be a good time to get them in to see a biological uh dentist that could test their airway and their sleeping. It's uh as far as snoring, mouth breathing, all the sinuses always often congested or ADHD behaviors. I would all always look at the airway as being maybe a tongue tie, is obstructing the airway. So those are all things that would be important to look at and much easier to get in during the summertime. So think of the summertime maybe as okay, what do we need to work on on our health preventative wise, the slowing down the connection? That's how I'm utilizing my summer

Airway Health And Mouth Breathing Clues

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this year. And I thought, well, this might be a good tip for parents out there where they're struggling with what am I gonna do with the kids are home? I got to keep them so busy, and maybe shifting that mindset. Cause I know that's hard for me. And I almost have the guilt when I have to uh be on my computer so much, be on calls, be on meetings, and but you know what? I'm starting to get them to be in their what's their creative outlet. For example, my son is engineering. So yesterday we decided let's think of a project he wants to work on. He wanted to create something that can float, a boat. And we the fun thing is that we we use ChatGPT. We're like, okay, this is what he wants to create. What kind of uh what does he material does he need? So then we go to Michael's, we go to the dollar

Creativity Projects That Keep Kids Engaged

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store, and then we actually took a picture of all our material and said, okay, how can we create this boat out of what we have now? And then I just put him to work. I mean, he is 10 years old now, but depending on the age that you have, get them to be so in their creative outlet that maybe throughout the school year they couldn't have been. Or maybe there'll be some new uh creativity that they didn't even knew they had or different gifts. This is where we can really grow in these gifts in the pause, in the boredom. And that may take a little bit of time from you, but I loved it. My son spent hours yesterday working on this little project, and then he saw it float in our pool and it worked. And it I was like, I was so impressed. And and so, and same with my daughter. She wants to be actually now more in being creative and theater and content creator, as much as some parents might like, oh, I don't I don't like that, but that's her creative outlet to talk, to communicate, just like me. And so give her that outlet, give her the tools. Uh, and um, I found a camp that helps them realize how what it takes to do that, and and that's fun for them. So I think for nervous system regulation, learning to see how it impacts your your body, teaching your kids, okay, how is their body impacted by their environment?

Teaching Kids Body Awareness Skills

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If they're surrounded by somebody that's impacting their nervous system, start noticing that. And what can they do when they notice that? Can they just protect their own energy, move away, take a few deep breaths? Just starting to make them so attuned to their body. For example, what's affecting them play a game of just foods, um, getting them to realize, make their own choices in foods. But if they keep choosing a food that starts giving them headaches or gut issues, start noticing that. So then they can be proactive to make good food choices, make it fun, say, okay, you're cooking dinner tonight, and pick something that has good proteins, good fats, and and under they can explain it, all what the vegetables uh do for their bodies. You know, if they add tomatoes, uh, what does that do to your body? So you can make little fun games that also are in the realm of preventative health, because it's all about teaching them that now so it can carry on to them as adults to normalize that they take time for their rest, take time to get outdoors, take time for movement. Like I'm very active. And of course, when they're in summer break now, I try to work out with them. And so I have a little home gym that we can start playing around with them. I actually wish I could bring them to the gym, but they're still really young, so they don't allow them to come. And my son's very mad about that. He's like, why can I just join you at the gym? And uh I think we need more gyms that we can bring. As long as they're with an adult, uh, it'd be no problem to normalize that they're with a parent and they're learning how to work out. I think if they're well behaved, that it wouldn't be a problem. And uh so I think instead of summer trying to fill up the kids' schedule, maybe taking it a different step. I mean, that's what I'm trying this year with my kids and normalizing, slowing down, and working on our nervous system leading up to another busy school year. So then maybe the tools we learn over the summer, we can implement them, implement them more during the school year. And that takes a lot of reprogramming because I know too well that when our nervous system is in the sympathetic, it cannot rest and repair. And it's a it it creates a body that's susceptible to disease for long term. If you're in that long-term stress state, so stress management, and this includes your family, not just yourself.

Co-Regulation Starts With The Parent

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But of course, as a parent, I always say work on yourself first because your kids will co-regulate with you. So if you are very anxious and very stressed, there your kids are constantly trying to regulate with you. But if you're never in that calm state, it would create anxiety for them as well. So it's always start with you first, take that time without guilt. And so, yeah, that's just a little tip that for summer break that I thought I'd share. And uh let me know if this is what you're gonna incorporate with your family or what you have incorporated. Uh, and maybe that'll be something new for me to try with my family. So I always love to hear from you. You can always DM me. I read all the comments, and and I'd love to hear what you're incorporating as far as slowing down, maybe somatic, um, something fun in nature, a new project to try with your kids and just bring connection because I think oftentimes that's what ultimately love heals, right? And each of our kids just crave connection with a parent. And that is such a gift, that's such a gift to give back. So thank you for listening.