EP 23: What If Healing Was Always Your Choice?

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Today's guest has won Miss Olympia three times with a broken leg.

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She is also a single mom of two boys.

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She is an author of when Broken.

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It's a true honor to have her here today.

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Her name is Whitney Jones.

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I am excited to share your story, and I don't think you know this, but I actually competed in one for your fitness magazine cover and it was actually my big motivator to finish my first book, the truth behind the smiles that is the coolest I I.

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It kind of popped up on social media to be on the cover your fitness magazine, yeah, and I thought, hey, why not?

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I've always loved to work out, I've always been very active and said I'll give it a go and I really got close.

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But what I didn't win but what I won is that I finished my book early and I got it published within months, because it was my true motivator to have it done.

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So I'm so honored to have you here as a guest.

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Thank you.

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I'm honored to be here and to hear that too.

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That's ultimately the goal in anything For women.

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It's empowering them to do things that maybe they are not allowing themselves to dive into fully or think is there a chance I could win?

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Nope, and you let all that noise and the negativity and anything that's just this chaos, tell you you can't.

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No, why not?

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At some point someone's going to win that.

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Why can't it be you?

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And in that process and in that journey, the fact that you said, okay, I'm going to do this and this because you're preparing to win, that's what every athlete does, that's what every entrepreneur does.

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You have to just go all in, risk it all and learn in the process more about yourself.

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Yeah, and you know, what I learned is that that was really uncomfortable for me to put myself out there, take a picture of myself.

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I'm like, oh yeah, look at me.

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I'm all about.

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I've got it right here.

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I had to print it off, you know.

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Oh, that's so cool, and quarter finalists and there's 10,000 over 10,000 that actually apply to this contest every year.

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That's crazy.

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That is really cool for me to get out of my comfort zone, because I don't like to ask for help, but to put myself on there to ask people to vote, and you know, and I just put myself out there and my kids were so excited they were like vote for my mom, and so it was just really fun actually process and it was really fun to see people rooting for me and they're like you've got this and so, like you said, it got me out of something I would have never thought I'd do, you know, being a fitness magazine, but it was definitely a dream.

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Out there I'm like, oh, why not?

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Yeah, why not Very?

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motivated too.

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I was like hitting the gym.

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I'm like, oh, I better keep going.

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And it's like I've got to film content you know you're constantly just trying to level up, to go All right.

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What is it that really makes me uncomfortable?

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And one of my favorite sayings is get comfortable being uncomfortable.

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That's where the real growth happens.

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And people say it, or they try to kind of believe it and act as if, but unless you really do it where you're going, this is something I know I don't want to do.

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I have fear, I have anxiety, I'm nervous, but you do it anyways.

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That feeling afterwards, as you know, you're like wow, okay, it wasn't that hard.

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And then that propels you into the next goal you have and the next activity that makes you feel a little drawn back and like just not wanting to put yourself out there and go.

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Why not?

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What do I have to lose?

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Yeah, that's so true, Because after that I keep stepping in, you know, into places where it's scary.

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Yeah, you know it's scary, but I'd love to start.

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I know you grew up and you had two older brothers, yes, so I'd love to start back.

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As you know, growing up with two older brothers, I'm sure there was a lot of competition there.

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Oh, totally, totally so bring us back there.

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You know how was that growing up with two older brothers and who were you as a little girl.

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So I am lucky to have two amazing brothers that still to this day we have a great relationship.

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But yes, they were into sports.

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You know, growing up both of our parents worked.

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So at home during the summers our oldest brother watched my other brother and I and everything was a game, everything was a competition.

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And back then, you know, we didn't have video games, we didn't have that stuff.

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So if you want to have fun, you're outside in the neighborhood and doing anything and everything active, and so I developed a love for sports.

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I developed a love for anything with a group environment, a team effort.

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But I honestly attribute my athletic abilities and my competitive drive to my older brothers.

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I give them those accolades which, of course, they like to credit themselves with my Olympia titles.

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Fine, that's fair.

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But it helped me realize, you know, I was, let's be real, I was the annoying, pesky little sister that was just hey, can I hang out, hey, can I play with you guys, and they would challenge me to do tricks and skills, to just kind of keep me away for a few days.

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But it ended up helping me as a person to go.

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Okay, how bad do I want this and I need to put in work.

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So, for example, one of the first days was to learn a no-handed cartwheel.

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We had a friend in the neighborhood, one of the other neighbors that was a gymnast, so she would do gymnastics tricks in the neighborhood and at the park so they would see what she was doing.

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They're like you need to learn that.

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When you learn that you can hang out with us for a day.

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Oh, hell, yeah, that's what I wanted, so I would focus and I would spend days.

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I mean, we didn't have the internet to use as a resource, so I became a visual learner.

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I realized that you have to do how many reps of something to finally actually get it and you can't give up easily.

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And then it gave me that goal of okay, this is something I want to accomplish.

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Once I did, it was like, oh my gosh, I never thought I could do that and I just tried and tried and tried.

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Now, granted, there were a lot of fails and you know phase plants and probably things that my parents would have never allowed if they were home during that time, but it taught me so many basic skills.

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You know, honestly, it's facing fear, trying to do something that's like a gymnastics, a flip or a trick.

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When you have no training, you don't know how to do something.

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That's like a gymnastics a flip or a trick.

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When you have no training, you don't know how to do it.

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You have no idea how to land it.

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You know that you could get injured.

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But I tried to be methodical about it and I would sit and watch her and just literally then visualize myself doing the skill and then I would try it and then I would find I'd make my own progressive steps to learn the skill.

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So it helped kind of open up this whole different way of learning as well as really pushing myself.

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That I didn't even give any credit to until I was in high school and realized, oh my gosh, all those years of being a little sister and being challenged really set me up for who I am in life.

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So you know again, the fact is they were amazing brothers and they never wanted me to get hurt and they didn't even realize what they were doing, except just trying to get me to be on my own and not bother them.

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But it was an amazing childhood.

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So how long did it take you to learn to do you know we?

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talk about it sometimes.

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So the aerial ended up taking which is the no-handed cartwheel about a week and then it turned into things like a back handspring and a back flip.

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I mean, to be honest, they were daring me to do things that, as a, you know, I was in second and third grade with no training, is not smart, but I would bring my pool raft out and use that kind of as my cushion and would just go.

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And when you're younger you don't have the fear like you do as an adult.

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So it kind of created this no fear mentality of me.

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I never really, you know, I was dare you, dare me to do anything and sadly, to this day I'm like, yeah, let's go, let's do it.

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I'm in, do it.

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I'm in like you wanted to be up for that challenge and I'm a little bit like that too, somebody that says we can't do it and I'm like, yes, well, you prove that.

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Because you know one thing I've always been active.

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I've always like you know, I think at 16 years old, I asked my mom for my birthday for a fitness membership.

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You know where she was working out.

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Yeah, and it's just so.

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When people say, oh, you're so fit and well, she's always been like that, you know.

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And then they put an excuse for them, yeah, to not be able to achieve that.

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But I still remember, you know, when I was young.

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They're like well, just wait till you have kids.

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Oh, and just wait and then that was almost like okay, great, you know yeah, and.

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I just stayed active throughout my not pregnancy in a safe manner, you know, yeah, and I just stayed active throughout my not pregnancy in a safe manner you know yeah but even afterwards it was always a part of me doing that I'd incorporate with my kids.

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I had set up a home gym and.

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I would bring them and then they'd work out with me as they were older, you know.

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So it became a family affair, but I, it was just more.

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Don't tell me that I can do it, because I'm too, even more motivated to keep doing it.

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And then tell me you went to college and you went a business degree as well, and what was your?

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first career.

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So I got into mortgages actually and, um, that was just through a family friend connection and I thought, okay, sure let's do that.

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Um, I didn't love the industry.

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I love the sales Like I love the challenge of having to go in blind and try agency at that time as it was growing.

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I was there for gosh six years and loved that because it allowed me to help lead a team.

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I went in blind to some major accounts, just not knowing I mean I was gosh 22, 23.

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And again, just not, I think, not being told you can't do this, because it was a smaller agency and they loved all hands on deck If you had ideas, they allowed you to kind of support and went into some big meetings as a complete newbie and just was like literally would ask for the account and my boss would look at me sometimes and like you don't just do that, but it worked and we would get the account.

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So that was fun because again, it was that hustle of trying to find a way to relate to somebody what are their pain points, what are their and how can we address it.

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And so when I looked at things like that, it wasn't ever following a normal structure.

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It was what do they need?

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How can we provide that for them and make this a win-win?

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And so I loved that experience Coming from mortgages, it was different.

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And then working with the ad agency, having that creative outlet to design massive marketing campaigns, commercials, billboards, and then leading a team, really helped me realize, okay, that entrepreneur that I've always wanted to be since I was little.

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I need to do that, but what is that going to be?

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And then, due to a situation where I was pregnant with my second child, I was on bed rest for three and a half months and you know, for people who are active like you and I, that is like a death sentence.

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You know it's like extremely hard yeah.

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So at that point, you know, I'd always been active and loved it.

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And when I was working at the ad agency I loved like coming home and I had a home gym and I would train some neighbors or friends and family and write diets and just loved that as a way to kind of disconnect, help hold me accountable and I love to see the transformation.

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So I was doing that.

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But when I was on bed rest I realized people take for granted the ability to move every day and here I was.

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I mean I had to lay flat.

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I couldn't even sit up in bed or I would start having contractions.

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So it was lay flat and just kind of move your chin to watch TV or have any type of activity and I was in and out of the hospital for three and a half months to stop the contractions and I would cry all the way to the hospital going I just want to walk around the neighborhood Like I just this is so crazy, the desire I had and how I would think people don't realize when this is taken away.

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You want it so bad, and so it became this personal mission to go.

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This is my calling, this is what I am supposed to do.

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I was put in this situation because I'm needed for this purpose to inspire people.

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I'm totally see this so much in people.

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You're almost stopped in your tracks.

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I hear that so much Like you have no choice, because you're in the silent, you know kind of all.

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You have to just sit in your thoughts.

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Yeah, you had to slow down because obviously you were a career woman.

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You were probably fast paced.

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You already had your first child, you were married as well.

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Yeah.

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And so God had to stop you in your tracks, almost to be in your own thought, to follow your true purpose, your soul alignment, Because I have a similar story where I they had found a cyst on my vocal cord and I had to have a surgery and I couldn't talk, couldn't use my voice for at least three weeks and using a board with my little kids and to try and one could read, one could not, so it's voice activation.

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So really I sat in my thoughts a lot and it realized God is telling me to use my voice to stop suppressing.

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So and I hear that in similar stories of like cancer stories and this, and that where all of a sudden there's a pivot in your life that really changed your trajectory, and I see that with you, with your pregnancy.

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For sure.

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I mean, it totally was.

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And, to be honest, you know, I feel like life is full of pivots and some people fight it and I didn't know what direction I was going.

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At that point I thought, gosh, do I really quit this job at this ad agency that I have worked and built this amazing career and opened up opportunities?

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And it was like yeah, and quit and worked for, went into to the gym there was a gym right behind my house, literally walked in and said can I get a job working minimum wage as a personal trainer?

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And I thought, what am I doing?

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But in my heart, I knew this was the path and it was just to learn.

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Okay, this is what I need to figure out from the gym industry.

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I've never owned a gym, but after a year and a half it was like, all right, let's take that leap.

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I'm going to do it, dive in and, just again, knowing, in order to really level up, in order to truly make an impact and use the voice, use your platform, you have to take some wild risks.

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Now, I try to always be strategic and make calculated risks, but I didn't know really what was in store.

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But I knew in my heart and I still, to this day, feel, if you do it with passion and you do it for the right reasons, you will not fail.

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I believe that and so I just went.

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I would say abundance will come.

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It might not right away, it might be a slow progression, but if you're following your purpose, God will always provide.

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Totally.

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Yeah.

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So it's been.

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It's been a wild ride, but again it's like there've been so many things in my life that I have to, like you said, just sit back and take it in and go.

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Why is this happening?

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It's not happening to me, it's happening for me and there's a reason, there's a lesson, and this might be the time to pivot.

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So you start personal training and now you have your gym.

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So how do you get into Miss Olympia?

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Like, how did you get into that?

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So you'll find this funny because we already addressed, how someone says you can't do something.

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You're like, oh yeah.

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So I was at the gym.

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So it was before I even owned my gym, yet I was just at the gym as a trainer and I kept seeing these women come in and slowly transforming in a healthy way and just getting fit and toned and I thought what are they doing?

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You know, like, what activity is it that they're doing?

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And someone had said, oh, it's a competition, they compete.

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Well, I didn't know anything about the industry and I was like, huh, and they go.

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Well, you could never do that.

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And instantly it was like I don't know what we're doing, but, yeah, I'm all in.

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And so there was a competition several months later.

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So I found out what it was.

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I signed up for and agreed to shortly after and just was like, well, cool, you know, at that point I had been doing marathon and triathlons, endurance events, just for fun, but it's making like a huge wear and tear and taking a toll on my body.

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So I thought, well, this is something different, let's just do it.

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Um, try it.

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Bucket list item.

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Long story short, I loved it.

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Um, I only I competed in the figure division first, which is just where you go out and they judge your physique.

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But at that show I saw these girls listening to music and they had costumes on and they were having a good time, while everyone else over here was just nervous and I thought I don't know who those girls are, but I want to be with them.

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That's how I learned about the fitness division, which is where you do a routine.

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So two thirds of your score is based on an athletic performance, dance, choreographed routine, and then they still judge you on your physique.

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Well, again, I have no formal training.

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I'm trained by my brother's dares for gymnastics.

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But I just loved it, had never seen a routine before my first competition and did it all wrong, but had a blast and loved it and said you know, I like this challenge, this goal, and I loved the creative outlet.

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So at that point, as I started getting into competing, was when my life changed in regards to you know, I have two little ones, I have a brand new business and heard or not heard, but found out some things with my marriage that I wasn't okay with and it just took a total twist and turn on my life as I had kind of planned it out.

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So it was, it became an outlet for me to have something positive, to focus on, a creative outlet.

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I always say it's so important for people to find that creative outlet what that is right it really is to feel kind of nourish the soul.

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I almost.

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You know that, especially when there's a lot of negativity, um hard emotions, like a dark cloud.

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I'd lost my mom, um as well, shortly before that.

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So I was just dealing with a lot, and here I have two sweet little boys ages three and five, that I thought three and five, five.

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So divorce and wow your business and you're losing your mom.

00:19:13.202 --> 00:19:14.105
How did you handle?

00:19:14.105 --> 00:19:17.779
I mean, that's a lot of grief there, because divorce, I always say, is grief.

00:19:17.779 --> 00:19:21.318
It is For the whole family, for your, your kids as well.

00:19:21.318 --> 00:19:25.682
So how did you, you and your family, process that grief for your mom and the divorce?

00:19:25.990 --> 00:19:30.951
So my mom passing was first and that was tough because she was my best friend.

00:19:30.951 --> 00:19:37.050
I mean, I um, there's no one I look up to more in my life and it became a fast and furious.

00:19:37.050 --> 00:19:41.661
She was diagnosed with cancer unexpectedly, like they caught it.

00:19:41.661 --> 00:19:44.496
She went in um thinking she just had a cold.

00:19:44.496 --> 00:19:45.557
Long story short.

00:19:45.557 --> 00:19:47.443
They ended up finding cancer.

00:19:47.443 --> 00:19:49.750
It was stage four and it was rapid decline.

00:19:49.931 --> 00:19:50.977
What kind of cancer did she?

00:19:51.017 --> 00:19:51.117
have.

00:19:51.117 --> 00:19:52.214
She had lung cancer.

00:19:52.234 --> 00:20:02.942
Lung cancer and she was a smoker when she was younger but she had quit and so, you know, again you're like, oh, thank goodness, she was getting healthy for years, doesn't matter.

00:20:02.942 --> 00:20:05.954
And sadly, you know, my mom was never sick.

00:20:05.954 --> 00:20:09.823
So when she was sick with a cold, we thought, oh, this is weird.

00:20:09.823 --> 00:20:13.719
But she went in and they did an x-ray on her chest and took the or on her.

00:20:13.719 --> 00:20:15.021
Yeah, it was a chest x-ray.

00:20:15.021 --> 00:20:22.111
They took the wrong image and so the tech actually screwed up, but the image found the spot on her lungs.

00:20:22.111 --> 00:20:25.194
If that tech wouldn't have screwed up, they would have never known.

00:20:25.194 --> 00:20:30.500
But it was stage four and so it just it didn't.

00:20:30.500 --> 00:20:44.498
It happened so fast, in a period of seven and a half months where we found out, you know, and then she started chemo, was trying to recover her decline and then ultimately she passed.

00:20:44.498 --> 00:20:48.000
And so I think, too, my mom was ultra positive.

00:20:48.570 --> 00:20:53.376
I wasn't prepared Like I feel, like I should have been, I think I was a little in denial.

00:20:53.376 --> 00:20:56.038
So that aftermath was rough.

00:20:56.038 --> 00:21:16.176
And then, you know, finding out things and my divorce and then stress of the business and my little ones I knew within that first week of processing and starting the divorce process, it was up to me to figure out a way to not let me be a statistic.

00:21:16.176 --> 00:21:22.251
I did not want to just go crazy, lose my mind, fly off the handle.

00:21:22.251 --> 00:21:29.404
I didn't want to dive into unhealthy habits, drinking, any of the stuff that you know is the stereotypical coping.

00:21:30.170 --> 00:21:33.380
And that's how I poured into fitness.

00:21:33.380 --> 00:21:39.853
I knew it was the one thing every day that I could feel good about At the end of the day.

00:21:39.853 --> 00:21:40.998
Did I get my workout in?

00:21:40.998 --> 00:21:42.214
Did I eat well?

00:21:42.214 --> 00:21:51.652
Did I do something to help me feel good, when I was constantly hammered all day with all these things that hurt me, made me sad and I couldn't control it.

00:21:51.652 --> 00:21:56.060
So naturally, as humans, we crave some element of control.

00:21:56.060 --> 00:22:06.715
Fitness was the element of control for me, where I could smile and be proud of myself and know just keep doing something that you can pat yourself on the back at each day.

00:22:06.955 --> 00:22:12.125
Yeah, and that was a positive outlet I knew I had a similar thing after I lost my husband.

00:22:12.309 --> 00:22:13.335
I knew to avoid.

00:22:13.335 --> 00:22:13.876
I said okay.

00:22:13.876 --> 00:22:17.018
I almost instantly was like well, I can't fix the past.

00:22:17.018 --> 00:22:20.950
I said I've got to live in and out and I've got to be so present for my kids.

00:22:20.950 --> 00:22:24.059
I saw the pain of losing their father.

00:22:24.059 --> 00:22:25.556
I said they can't lose me too.

00:22:25.556 --> 00:22:35.063
So I've got to do everything in my power to take care of me and me not being able to eat, feeling like I'm having a heart attack.

00:22:35.063 --> 00:22:35.242
I sleep.

00:22:35.242 --> 00:22:35.965
I'm going to have to fix that.

00:22:35.965 --> 00:22:37.049
You know, take care of myself.

00:22:37.049 --> 00:22:41.557
And I remember actually almost being afraid, like I like my glass of wine with dinner.

00:22:41.557 --> 00:22:49.943
Yeah, I was afraid to even touch alcohol and I didn't drink for almost a year after that because I just knew I'm not going that path.

00:22:49.983 --> 00:22:54.038
It's not what my body needs right now right and I really, truly avoided it.

00:22:54.038 --> 00:22:57.436
And that's where I it was actually an organ donor specialist.

00:22:57.436 --> 00:23:06.315
At the hospital, I was frantic to find a counselor for my kids and they said, no, no, you need to find one, you need to work on yourself, and I really did, you know.

00:23:06.315 --> 00:23:11.721
And working out was also an outlet for me, and it always has been yeah you know that I keep showing out.

00:23:11.800 --> 00:23:13.407
It feels good, it boosts the endorphins.

00:23:13.407 --> 00:23:21.295
So, really watching your environment, what you're choosing, oh, total critical time that you're in, you know well, and you know, to the same point.

00:23:21.476 --> 00:23:24.891
I remember going out and my friends are like you just need a girl's night.

00:23:24.891 --> 00:23:25.834
I'm like you're right.

00:23:25.834 --> 00:23:42.401
And the alcohol I didn't cry that hard in like probably six months and I thought, okay, alcohol's not the solution for any of this, because I feel so much worse which, granted, we know that, but same type thing.

00:23:42.401 --> 00:23:56.162
I thought I have to control my emotions to the best of my ability, so don't allow things in your life that trigger you or trigger bad emotions, trigger sadness, and that's an element that we have to control.

00:23:56.162 --> 00:24:02.621
No matter what's going on in your life, you have to find ways to create a smile for yourself.

00:24:02.621 --> 00:24:04.170
You can't rely on others.

00:24:04.170 --> 00:24:05.874
You have to dig deep to go.

00:24:05.874 --> 00:24:07.876
Okay, I've got to get through this.

00:24:07.876 --> 00:24:11.523
People deal with horrible stuff every day all over the world.

00:24:11.523 --> 00:24:18.730
You're capable of doing it too, and it's not going to be easy, but you have to put in the work every day, every hour, every minute.

00:24:18.769 --> 00:24:22.567
You have to bring in more light every day, because you have so much darkness around right.

00:24:22.667 --> 00:24:22.868
Exactly.

00:24:23.330 --> 00:24:26.383
So much grief and stress.

00:24:26.383 --> 00:24:30.471
So what is it you're going to help yourself to bring more light in every day.

00:24:30.471 --> 00:24:35.762
Exactly, you know to allow that, so I love that you're teaching that to your kids as well.

00:24:35.843 --> 00:24:48.259
I'm sure they saw you, you know, winning these, these fitness, you know, miss Olympia, I mean that was probably trickled down to them as well, seeing you rise even though there was so much pain around.

00:24:48.259 --> 00:24:52.114
Now, is there anything for grief wise for your sons?

00:24:52.114 --> 00:24:54.358
Is there anything that they that helped them?

00:24:54.358 --> 00:24:57.652
Was it exercise as well, and you know?

00:24:57.912 --> 00:24:58.934
um for them.

00:24:58.934 --> 00:25:08.118
So they were really young and my five-year-old at the time, you know he, he had a better grasp of kind of wait, why aren't we all living together?

00:25:08.118 --> 00:25:09.140
And stuff like that.

00:25:09.140 --> 00:25:19.570
But it's almost like I was glad they were that young because my whole goal was try to not make this anything that affects them.

00:25:19.570 --> 00:25:22.537
Now that sounds kind of crazy, right, how can it not affect them?

00:25:22.537 --> 00:25:30.623
But my, my ex, was still focused on being a great dad and that's all I wanted him to be at that point.

00:25:30.623 --> 00:25:34.621
You know, obviously things with us went south, but we have two kids.

00:25:34.621 --> 00:25:37.138
Let's do the best to co-parent them together.

00:25:37.138 --> 00:25:39.157
So we never fought in front of them.

00:25:39.990 --> 00:25:41.236
I tried very hard.

00:25:41.236 --> 00:25:50.971
I mean, you know, there's those days where you are just crumbling inside and I would find ways to sneak away, wipe my face and come out with a smile and almost fake it till you make it Cause.

00:25:50.971 --> 00:25:52.757
At that point they don't understand it.

00:25:52.757 --> 00:26:03.191
But we would talk a lot and anytime I kind of saw them quiet or become a little more introverted, we would openly talk about it.

00:26:03.191 --> 00:26:12.202
And then, of course, with my ex, we would openly talk to them about this is okay, and of course, with my ex, we would openly talk to them about this is okay, you know, and just really making sure they felt safe.

00:26:12.202 --> 00:26:13.884
Things changed a little.

00:26:13.884 --> 00:26:23.289
We tried to never make it, you know, sound like this is concrete right from the beginning, but really just making sure that, hey, you're going to be at two different houses.

00:26:23.289 --> 00:26:29.278
We tried to make it a fun thing, as crazy as that sounds, and of course I second guess, is this the right way?

00:26:29.278 --> 00:26:33.844
But I would watch how they would respond and they would kind of get excited.

00:26:33.844 --> 00:26:42.913
So I just tried to play into what I was feeling from them, what I was hearing from them, and at that point it just created this amazing relationship.

00:26:42.952 --> 00:26:44.736
My boys and I are so close.

00:26:44.736 --> 00:26:47.401
They're now 16 and 19.

00:26:47.401 --> 00:26:49.284
And I love that.

00:26:49.284 --> 00:26:51.347
We can talk about anything.

00:26:51.347 --> 00:26:53.491
Literally there's nothing off limits.

00:26:53.491 --> 00:27:12.194
But I think it's because from an early age we had that open dialogue and I honestly think sometimes, had that not happened, would I have been that close and that have been able to have such deep, intimate conversations about their feelings and their emotions?

00:27:12.194 --> 00:27:21.520
Because prior to that, you know you're focused on your family unit and your husband, but not that one-on-one emotional attachment.

00:27:21.520 --> 00:27:25.816
So you know, again, I try not to ever question why is this happening?

00:27:25.816 --> 00:27:34.237
I just go with whatever God is handing me and try to make the best of any situation, and I truly look back and go.

00:27:34.237 --> 00:27:40.858
Thankfully, I feel like we did a good job of trying to co-parent and navigate a very difficult situation.

00:27:40.959 --> 00:27:41.902
Yeah, I love that.

00:27:41.902 --> 00:27:49.416
It's almost it was a gift because, look, it taught your kids at a very young age emotional intelligence and how you deal with conflict and how mom?

00:27:49.416 --> 00:27:52.864
And dad could still co-parent, and in a healthy way.

00:27:52.864 --> 00:27:53.325
Right.

00:27:53.369 --> 00:27:54.856
So I think it was a gift.

00:27:54.856 --> 00:28:12.809
I even say that for my kids as hard as it is to lose their dad so young they were six and eight but they learned very early on how to emotional intelligence and talk about the feelings and what are those tools to feel better when you're going through these great uh, these waves of grief you know at very young age.

00:28:12.809 --> 00:28:15.936
Now, I love that you have those saying H2G2.

00:28:15.936 --> 00:28:17.520
Yes, can you explain that?

00:28:17.520 --> 00:28:18.021
I love it.

00:28:18.041 --> 00:28:22.980
Yeah, so it's hilarious because it's still all over my house, Every mirror in my house.

00:28:22.980 --> 00:28:31.183
If you come to my house, you're going to see H2G2 written in lipstick, which obviously there's a better method now, but it's we just.

00:28:31.183 --> 00:28:32.972
I update it every so often.

00:28:32.972 --> 00:28:40.054
Um, on the refrigerator and my boys' rooms, in my room, H2G2 stands for you don't have to, you get to.

00:28:40.054 --> 00:28:49.176
And, of course, in any point in my life where I've felt this, this dark cloud, why is this happening, I got to flip my mindset.

00:28:49.217 --> 00:28:51.721
Yeah, because you've broken 18 bows right.

00:28:51.721 --> 00:28:56.695
Well, I've broken more than that I've had 18 surgeries 18 surgeries.

00:28:56.695 --> 00:29:04.981
That's what it was 18 surgeries, but you won Miss Olympia with a broken leg, so that's probably when that saying came in right.

00:29:05.289 --> 00:29:09.075
It's a power of mindset and you look at anything in life.

00:29:09.075 --> 00:29:10.038
Now there's choices.

00:29:10.038 --> 00:29:11.141
Did I choose to compete?

00:29:11.141 --> 00:29:12.022
Absolutely.

00:29:12.022 --> 00:29:15.440
So when you're having these days of gosh, I have to follow this diet.

00:29:15.440 --> 00:29:16.873
I need to get my workout in.

00:29:16.873 --> 00:29:19.537
I'm tired, I don't want to do my routine practice.

00:29:19.537 --> 00:29:22.808
Yeah, do I have to or do I get to?

00:29:22.808 --> 00:29:25.729
And so, again, no one's forcing me to do that.

00:29:25.729 --> 00:29:33.948
So it changes that connotation from something negative and ugh to I chose this and I need to appreciate this opportunity.

00:29:33.948 --> 00:29:39.145
And that saying goes towards anything this podcast, I don't have to do it.

00:29:39.145 --> 00:29:40.609
You know, I got up this morning.

00:29:40.609 --> 00:29:41.372
I was excited.

00:29:41.372 --> 00:29:48.605
I get to do this podcast with you and people challenge me on it and I literally to this day, will say challenge me.

00:29:49.166 --> 00:29:51.171
Same thing, something as awful as a death.

00:29:51.171 --> 00:29:54.345
You know I don't have to deal with this death.

00:29:54.345 --> 00:29:56.089
My mom didn't have to die.

00:29:56.089 --> 00:29:56.892
She got to die.

00:29:56.932 --> 00:30:07.922
But there's a lesson in everything and when you can look at something as difficult as that, you know I get to really honor her as a person and reflect on the gifts she gave me.

00:30:07.922 --> 00:30:10.405
I get to honor her legacy.

00:30:10.405 --> 00:30:16.362
I get to pass on every good trait she gave to me to my children.

00:30:16.362 --> 00:30:19.048
So you can look at it one of two ways.

00:30:19.048 --> 00:30:26.371
But when you change it from I have to to I get to you again, kind of get that control back to go.

00:30:26.371 --> 00:30:31.231
I'm going to make the best of this and I'm going to turn any negative situation into a positive.

00:30:31.231 --> 00:30:39.451
There's always gold in something, if you choose to look at it that way, and I still I mean I will constantly.

00:30:39.451 --> 00:30:50.166
Each day there'll be something, oh, I have to, and people will call me out, and I love it because it's just that normal thought process, it's the normal words we use.

00:30:50.166 --> 00:30:53.008
But when you change it it takes me back to go.

00:30:53.008 --> 00:30:58.510
Oh, okay, and so it's everywhere to remind my boys, my family guests.

00:30:58.510 --> 00:30:59.851
You don't have to do anything in life.

00:30:59.872 --> 00:31:00.519
I'm going to be using that.

00:31:00.519 --> 00:31:01.786
My kids eat this morning.

00:31:08.720 --> 00:31:10.045
I don't want to go to school, but you know that's a new school now.

00:31:10.065 --> 00:31:12.473
I'm going to be using that yeah, it's like how many kids would love to go to school and they don't have that opportunity.

00:31:12.473 --> 00:31:14.943
Now it is, for I would try it on my boys when they were younger and they would battle me.

00:31:14.943 --> 00:31:29.355
But they had not seen certain things like you know so many other countries and the poverty that those kids would die to go to school, to have the education, have the social network, to be able to learn and have an opportunity to create the life they want for themselves.

00:31:29.355 --> 00:31:35.701
As they grew older they would look at it and go, okay, all right, I don't want to go to practice today.

00:31:35.701 --> 00:31:38.109
Well, you know, you made the team.

00:31:38.109 --> 00:31:40.940
There's plenty of other kids who would love your spot.

00:31:40.940 --> 00:31:44.426
You get to go to practice, they would love to.

00:31:44.567 --> 00:32:30.039
So it's an interesting concept that I still, to this day, hammer away to clients, friends, my boys, myself, because it just can shift things in a moment's notice to go all right and it changes your thought process and we need those constant shifts you know every day, because for me too, I don't have to do this podcast but I get to, because for me, for what you know, lose my husband to suicide if I can inspire another wife, another wife that has young children that lost their husband right now, that they will be okay, that they can see that there's going to find joy you know, down the line there is a process and if I can inspire somebody to do that and I know you've done that as well- right Right.

00:32:30.140 --> 00:32:33.057
Tell them the story about the football player right.

00:32:33.097 --> 00:32:33.299
Yes.

00:32:33.520 --> 00:32:34.928
Yes, it was a high schooler.

00:32:34.928 --> 00:32:36.425
It was a high schooler.

00:32:36.425 --> 00:32:36.807
Yes.

00:32:37.059 --> 00:32:44.809
So I used to hide my experiences, my situation, just because growing up it was like, okay, you keep everything to yourself.

00:32:44.809 --> 00:32:53.426
As I got into the sport as an athlete, I started realizing, okay, some of the stuff I've gone through is unique and maybe to your point.

00:32:53.426 --> 00:32:56.192
If someone heard this story, they would be inspired.

00:32:56.192 --> 00:33:03.101
So I was on a documentary Generation Iron 3, and it documented my journey where I had broke my neck.

00:33:03.101 --> 00:33:08.244
I was prepping for one of my competitions and I do break dancing and doing a head spin.

00:33:08.244 --> 00:33:15.268
I broke my neck and everyone said my career was over and I think for me I was in disbelief like what?

00:33:15.268 --> 00:33:16.632
No way, it's just an injury.

00:33:16.632 --> 00:33:19.522
Granted, it's a pretty severe injury.

00:33:22.166 --> 00:33:30.444
So, as I was going into surgery, there was a time that insurance was an issue and I was losing daily movement function of my arm.

00:33:30.444 --> 00:33:36.186
My right arm was just like worthless at that point and surgery was the option.

00:33:36.186 --> 00:33:43.612
But there was 50, 50 shot If I was ever going to regain any feeling or any movement in my arm, much less all the other stuff it affects.

00:33:43.612 --> 00:33:54.424
But I, in that process, I was looking online you know forums and research like somebody, as an athlete, had to have experienced this and has this awesome comeback.

00:33:54.424 --> 00:33:59.080
There was nothing and I thought, no, like I, I need hope right now.

00:33:59.080 --> 00:34:09.235
There wasn't any, so my goal came to be I'm going to have this surgery, I'm going to recover and I will be that one article that hopefully pops up to give someone hope.

00:34:09.235 --> 00:34:11.186
So had surgery.

00:34:11.701 --> 00:34:18.568
Long story short, I decided I'm going to do a competition, the Arnold, which I had qualified for in 2018.

00:34:18.568 --> 00:34:20.806
I didn't know what it was going to look like.

00:34:20.806 --> 00:34:27.628
Honestly, I was realistic, thinking I'm not going to be the athlete I was, but I will go out on my own terms.

00:34:27.628 --> 00:34:32.485
I will finish my athletic career how I want to, not where people said you can never come back.

00:34:32.485 --> 00:34:35.918
So, with doctors, guidance, physical therapy.

00:34:35.918 --> 00:34:37.882
You know doing everything strategically.

00:34:37.943 --> 00:34:45.949
I was prepping, feeling great, I was going to step on stage to the best of my ability and four weeks out I tore my ACL.

00:34:45.949 --> 00:34:53.873
So not only am I going into this huge world competition, I had, you know, broken my neck nine months earlier.

00:34:53.873 --> 00:34:57.967
I now had a torn ACL, so I really only had one good leg.

00:34:57.967 --> 00:35:02.686
So I had very weak upper body from everything that happened with my neck injury.

00:35:02.686 --> 00:35:05.713
I had torn my ACL and I thought I don't care.

00:35:05.713 --> 00:35:11.371
I committed to this and again I will be the comeback story that you can still show up.

00:35:11.371 --> 00:35:19.313
It hit a fire in me that I was going to just come out and be different work with whatever I could.

00:35:19.659 --> 00:35:22.327
Where most people would have given up Would be like, okay, I need to stop.

00:35:22.327 --> 00:35:23.070
I mean, you know.

00:35:24.003 --> 00:35:26.128
And my doctors were kind of like whoa.

00:35:26.128 --> 00:35:36.603
But I said you know, I'm just going to be creative and I'm going to throw out everything that I am used to doing and only work with whatever skills I can do within my ability.

00:35:36.603 --> 00:35:38.206
I ended up winning.

00:35:38.206 --> 00:35:49.007
I'd never won a world championship title and my first world championship title was nine months after a broken neck and competing with a torn ACL, and I and I was shocked.

00:35:49.007 --> 00:35:51.913
I literally thought did the judges get this wrong?

00:35:51.913 --> 00:35:52.840
What is going on?

00:35:52.840 --> 00:35:54.724
But it's because I was so different.

00:35:54.724 --> 00:35:58.432
I had emotion, I had everything was poured into that.

00:35:58.980 --> 00:36:07.514
So, as the documentary was Generation Iron 3, I found out, you know, months later this kid had messaged me on Instagram.

00:36:07.514 --> 00:36:12.891
He was a high school athlete, great athlete, you know, had schools looking at him.

00:36:12.891 --> 00:36:17.454
He was dead set I'm playing in the NFL and he was on track to do that.

00:36:17.454 --> 00:36:28.005
But had a knee injury and was devastated to the point where he was just confining himself into his room, wouldn't come out, wouldn't eat, wouldn't talk to his family, friends, couldn't help.

00:36:28.568 --> 00:36:35.088
He ended up coming across my documentary and sees this older woman Hello, I was 40, 41.

00:36:35.088 --> 00:36:48.014
And he thought to himself from the message he sent me this woman broke her neck and tore her ACL and she came back and still won a world championship title.

00:36:48.014 --> 00:36:58.672
So he found it within him to basically, as he said, stop having a pity party, just work to get better, to rehab and see what happens.

00:36:58.672 --> 00:37:24.471
So it gave him the source of hope and he messaged me and shared that with me, and then his mom and dad found out later it was my story that got him to come out of his room and they messaged me to thank me because he was at a point of suicide and it was in that moment that I realized this isn't fair to keep my story to myself.

00:37:24.471 --> 00:37:33.407
I need to share it Because, hearing that this saved this young mind and this young human, I think about my boys, I get full goosebumps.

00:37:33.427 --> 00:37:38.106
yeah Right, it's like if someone could impact your children, because we can only do so much.

00:37:38.106 --> 00:37:40.815
Yes, the parents could not get through to him.

00:37:40.815 --> 00:37:41.298
Oh, yeah.

00:37:41.659 --> 00:37:48.969
This stranger did and I thought, okay, I need to just share my story Good, bad or indifferent, I'm just going to be authentically me.

00:37:48.969 --> 00:37:56.369
And that helped me just really share on social media, through articles, through magazines, through writing my book.

00:37:56.369 --> 00:38:07.181
Now I thought I'm sharing this story, I'm not going to be shy anymore because if it helps one person, that's amazing, I always say, because just save one life you know by sharing your story.

00:38:07.623 --> 00:38:08.985
Yeah, it's all worth it.

00:38:09.266 --> 00:38:23.523
It really is, because you know it wasn't just one you know, it's just one that you heard of, right, but you've impacted so many and you were so right with I could feel that with parents because sometimes I'm like, okay, I'm just the one and just the one and in helping my kids.

00:38:23.523 --> 00:38:38.318
Sometimes it is going to be an outsider to really say probably the same thing that I wanted to say Totally yes, but they need another mentor to really a complete stranger you know that inspired him and that's what I pray for my kids too.

00:38:38.358 --> 00:38:42.516
Right you know, as I know, my son still struggles, you know, with the thoughts.

00:38:42.657 --> 00:38:43.039
Oh sure.

00:38:43.400 --> 00:38:44.461
And changing his perspective.

00:38:44.461 --> 00:38:46.344
Even still struggles, you know, with the thoughts and changing his perspective.

00:38:46.344 --> 00:38:54.996
Even me, just walking him the school bus today, I say, hey, I know you're having a hard time, I said, but you know, let's change our perspective like find at least one positive thing you know to look at for today.

00:39:00.039 --> 00:39:11.625
You know, and I'm getting him to stand in front of the mirror and say an affirmation about himself like really working on that but I know that I can't be the only one you know so finding that another little mentor or something to inspire him and I know he's really big into sports too oh, he's really big into like flag football right now.

00:39:11.664 --> 00:39:15.585
He was club soccer the last two years, so sports is very much a great outlet for him.

00:39:15.585 --> 00:39:18.233
Yeah, uh, so yeah, I love.

00:39:18.233 --> 00:39:21.463
I love this story because I can really resonate with that as well.

00:39:21.463 --> 00:39:22.784
And tell me about your too.

00:39:22.784 --> 00:39:24.047
I cannot wait to read it.

00:39:24.047 --> 00:39:27.934
By the way, so I don't know if you can see it here, it's called Been Broken.

00:39:29.460 --> 00:39:31.344
And it's obviously it's a play on words.

00:39:31.344 --> 00:39:41.539
As you mentioned, you know I've broken so many parts of my body and had so many surgeries, but it's not just my body and bones that were broken.

00:39:41.539 --> 00:39:55.304
Through life I've been handed a lot of chaos, you know, through professional and personal setbacks as well, as you know being broken physically but mentally, emotionally, and we all are a little broken.

00:39:55.304 --> 00:39:59.956
But once you can realize we're all in the same boat.

00:39:59.956 --> 00:40:05.550
We all have bad circumstances that are going to happen, whether they already have or they're going to.

00:40:05.550 --> 00:40:12.913
It's unavoidable, but if you can make sure that you're not the victim in it and you go, okay, this is what I was expecting.

00:40:12.913 --> 00:40:15.548
Life's going to hand me some lemons, it's okay.

00:40:15.548 --> 00:40:17.889
It's what you do after that.

00:40:17.889 --> 00:40:20.108
It's the setup for a comeback.

00:40:28.880 --> 00:40:34.353
So my book is sharing my own stories of various setbacks in my life and how to truly strategically conquer every situation in a positive, like helpful, manner.

00:40:34.353 --> 00:40:41.885
It's also written where you it's self kind of guided after each chapter going this is this lesson I'm teaching now.

00:40:41.885 --> 00:40:44.521
How do you apply it right now with what you're going through?

00:40:44.521 --> 00:40:45.402
This is this lesson I'm teaching now.

00:40:45.402 --> 00:40:52.788
How do you apply it right now with what you're going through so that people can reference back to it and implement each of the strategies, the tactics you know, addressing fear head on.

00:40:52.847 --> 00:40:59.112
Here's the ways I did it you laughing in the midst of chaos and going, oh my gosh, is this really happening?

00:40:59.112 --> 00:41:05.998
Dealing with broken bones and finding a way to still show up and finish what you started in a safe manner.

00:41:05.998 --> 00:41:13.882
So it's using my own stories, my quirky personality and humor to make it fun but say look, show up.

00:41:13.882 --> 00:41:22.923
Just know there are the people who deal with crises in life or setbacks in life, and they don't just survive but they thrive.

00:41:22.923 --> 00:41:26.811
And people who do that have mastered the art to win broken.

00:41:27.672 --> 00:41:28.514
That's beautiful.

00:41:28.514 --> 00:41:29.135
I love that.

00:41:29.135 --> 00:41:33.094
I can't wait to read it Because I think a lot of people yeah, they'll be.

00:41:33.094 --> 00:41:41.148
Well, I don't have the time, for example, for fitness-wise you know they want to be fit and have a toned body, but they're like, well, I don't have enough time, I don't have this.

00:41:41.148 --> 00:41:58.706
I have children and what would you say to them, like how to get started, because I think they feel very overwhelmed, like, well, I don't have you know, two hours a day to spend and I was like well, you really don't have to spend two hours you know, and what would you say to someone that really wants to get started in that fitness journey and take that first step?

00:41:58.706 --> 00:42:07.887
You know, they have young children at home, they're busy working all the time and it's it's always I don't have the time, or?

00:42:07.887 --> 00:42:11.621
A lot of it too you know, some gyms are really expensive, you know so, and it's an expense and and uh, yeah, what would you?

00:42:12.342 --> 00:42:23.769
it's all baby steps honestly, I think the reason people don't jump into goals like fitness is because it seems too hard and they think you've got to go zero to 60.

00:42:23.769 --> 00:42:25.494
Anyone who does that will fail.

00:42:25.494 --> 00:42:36.992
In my opinion, you have to have small goals, small wins, Because what happens is you know people who get started and they have maybe never been to a gym or they've never been active.

00:42:36.992 --> 00:42:39.748
How are you supposed to motivate them to get going?

00:42:39.748 --> 00:42:43.230
But your body, as you know, starts craving it.

00:42:43.230 --> 00:42:51.527
So if you're active each day and then you have a week where you're sick or you're on vacation and you haven't done anything active, your body craves it.

00:42:51.527 --> 00:42:59.929
So it's taking these small efforts to get your body into that rhythm and that routine where you crave eating healthy.

00:42:59.929 --> 00:43:02.548
Believe it or not, that is actually a thing.

00:43:02.628 --> 00:43:03.251
Oh yeah, that's me.

00:43:03.251 --> 00:43:05.226
Yeah, you crave water.

00:43:05.659 --> 00:43:19.514
You crave going to the gym, whether it's a stress reliever or just to feel like, hey, I did something for me, having mom time where you're not having to deal with kiddos tugging and needing you and you just get to focus on you, put some music on.

00:43:19.514 --> 00:43:21.585
It's just baby steps.

00:43:21.585 --> 00:43:29.509
And the thing is, so many people I feel like they go after a goal and they are dead set on the outcome and they lose focus of the journey.

00:43:29.509 --> 00:43:35.967
I can honestly say, winning Miss Olympia and even becoming a pro athlete in the sport was never my goal.

00:43:35.967 --> 00:43:45.202
I was just in it for that moment and, to be truthful, when I won my pro card and now I'm a pro athlete I'm like, oh gosh, what does this even mean?

00:43:45.202 --> 00:43:48.007
So I was just focused on enjoying it.

00:43:48.007 --> 00:43:49.610
I didn't worry about the outcome.

00:43:50.271 --> 00:43:53.326
Honestly, it's like every competition making it to the Olympia.

00:43:53.326 --> 00:43:55.552
I thought, gosh, am I ever going to make it back?

00:43:55.552 --> 00:43:56.201
Probably not.

00:43:56.201 --> 00:43:57.802
So I'm going to enjoy this.

00:43:57.802 --> 00:44:02.929
I'm going to create a routine that I love, and if the judges don't like it, well did I love it?

00:44:02.929 --> 00:44:08.155
Cool, and I think, with that perspective, that's what allowed me to be successful.

00:44:08.155 --> 00:44:12.791
So the one thing I say for anyone is don't focus on the end result.

00:44:12.791 --> 00:44:16.130
Just focus on what you're doing now and find something you like.

00:44:16.130 --> 00:44:17.666
Yeah, find joy in it.

00:44:17.706 --> 00:44:18.128
Find joy.

00:44:18.380 --> 00:44:19.364
That's what makes it fun.

00:44:19.480 --> 00:44:20.181
And with kids.

00:44:20.181 --> 00:44:26.331
I think it's the biggest way to impact moms is to say what you're doing.

00:44:26.331 --> 00:44:27.815
You are the role model.

00:44:27.815 --> 00:44:29.266
They're going to watch what you're doing.

00:44:29.266 --> 00:44:38.793
If you complain about eating healthy, if you complain about exercise, you may soon have a child who only eats sugar and refuses to get off video games.

00:44:38.793 --> 00:44:40.402
What are you going to do now?

00:44:40.402 --> 00:44:44.211
No parent would say that's what I want for my child.

00:44:44.211 --> 00:44:56.967
So it's up to them to start setting forth this routine and modeling the behavior, because that's where it really impacts moms, and moms can do anything yeah, because they'll mirror you right.

00:44:57.007 --> 00:45:00.097
Yeah, it's cool, they co-regulate with you.

00:45:00.097 --> 00:45:06.920
So having your know, your nervous system in check as well, which exercise, helps with that tremendously For sure.

00:45:06.920 --> 00:45:16.407
I remember, when I feel so much suppression you know hiding my emotions I'd feel like oh my gosh, I've got all this energy I can run and run for miles.

00:45:16.407 --> 00:45:17.302
That was my like.

00:45:17.302 --> 00:45:18.628
Escape, you know.

00:45:18.628 --> 00:45:20.967
But exercise, you start feeling good.

00:45:20.967 --> 00:45:26.155
It's just sometimes finding the consistency as well, you know yeah for sure.

00:45:26.699 --> 00:45:36.860
Yeah, I think just starting small and taking care of yourself, especially as a parent, that kids then they kind of mirror that and see how you take care of yourself and also sure it's a rippling effect too.

00:45:36.860 --> 00:45:45.472
Your mood is better as well, right, your patience is better as well, so I'm truly too for moms be a kid, yeah.

00:45:45.492 --> 00:45:49.644
Take them to the park, play like you were a kid, get on their level.

00:45:49.644 --> 00:46:01.626
So you know again, if you don't have a gym membership or you don't have time or you're taking your kids to their practices, you can walk around the field, even if you know I have some moms say, well, I have to get work done, work and walk.

00:46:02.088 --> 00:46:04.972
You know there's certain things I do that actually soccer practice.

00:46:04.972 --> 00:46:06.141
There was a huge field.

00:46:06.141 --> 00:46:10.621
I'd be like oh, this is like a mile and a half this field totally, I was always the weird mom.

00:46:10.661 --> 00:46:13.753
Like your mom is always moving, why not I do that?

00:46:13.773 --> 00:46:17.246
all the time I'm like, oh, my favorite, I love them.

00:46:17.246 --> 00:46:18.007
So how can people?00:46:18.068 --> 00:46:35.782


find you um on Instagram is probably my most frequent social media platform and it's Whitney Jones underscore IFBB pro and I have a website fit with jonescom and those are probably the two easiest ways and my content is just.00:46:35.782 --> 00:46:38.972


It's fun, lighthearted, it's fitness related.00:46:38.972 --> 00:46:43.887


I own a few different fitness businesses and I actually do host competitions.00:46:43.907 --> 00:46:52.344


You have one coming up right Next week or a couple of weeks, yeah, so August 9th is the Arizona State Championships Whitney Jones Classic and the Whitney Jones Natural.00:46:52.344 --> 00:46:54.248


Classic Is your book on Amazon as well.00:46:54.268 --> 00:46:57.106


Yep, and the book when Broken is on Amazon.00:46:57.106 --> 00:46:58.289


Oh, that's fantastic.00:46:58.329 --> 00:47:02.063


Well, thank you so much for sharing your story and you're so inspiring.00:47:02.063 --> 00:47:07.672


You know, as a single mom, entrepreneur, and because a lot of people be like how can you do it all?00:47:07.672 --> 00:47:09.760


You know, but still take care of yourself.00:47:09.760 --> 00:47:14.632


But finding you know that balance, it's crucial, it's inspiring, it is, it is so, thank you.00:47:14.900 --> 00:47:15.601


Thank you you.